Sam Worthington rents a hotel room, has a bit of brekkie then gets on a ledge. Here he spends most of the film alternating between chatting to some blonde woman who used to be in scrubs and to his brother Jamie Bell and his missus who are up to other things. Whilst the chatting is going on we learn some stuff about his past and why he might be on this ledge. He then chats a bit more and acts as though Jamie isn't doing naughty things and in the end we are meant to sympathise with these people. Shame boredom took over half way through instead.
This film is rubbish. It has a reasonably exciting premise, some guy on a ledge but why is he on the ledge, is it possibly because he is depressed or is it because his brother is doing something shifty or is it because he saw this film twenty minutes beforehand. There is meant to be loads of tension hanging around but within about five minutes of the film starting the 'twist' is given away and we are told pretty much the entirety of the plot. We then spend the rest of the film seeing exactly the plot we have just been told, which leads to less tension than an episode of antiques roadshow. Next is the girlfriend of Jamie Bell. She is hot I will give her that and she is very nice to look at but for christ's sake why couldn't they put her in more sensible clothing. She is breaking into a safe not going surfing so why does she randomly take off her already less than sensible tanktop tight jeans combo to put on a catsuit for about three minutes. Yes you get to see her in her strangely fancy underwear and yes it is a very pleasant site but for pity's sake where is the context people. The ending is just as frustrating. I wont tell you the ending but it doesn't make any sense and all involved would be arrested not just allowed to walk off as they are. God it was rubbish.
Verdict: 1/5
Sunday 30 December 2012
Film review: Ice Age 4
A latino Sloth with a lisp, an Italian descent New York mammoth and an all american, or maybe canadian, sabre toothed tiger get together to go on another crazy adventure. Also involved are two african american mammoths, an african american aged sloth and two slacker american possums. These two groups get seperated. The latter, minus the sloth, walk about a bit whilst the former, with the aged sloth in tow, get into some bother with some pirates. These pirates consist of a sort of english ape, a latino cat and some other peripheral ethnic minority animals I cannot be bothered to list. Some sort of adventure happens and I lose faith in childrens cinema.
I am a fan of the Ice Age films, well the first two anyway, the third was just weird. This one however is a film too far. It seems as though they don't really have any good new ideas for the film series. The main piece of evidence for this is the pirate theme. Why are there pirates? I mean seriously why? It just doesn't make any sense. The 'boats' are basically just icebergs with bits of tree on them that act as masts, cannons and in one instance steering. Honestly how do you steer an iceberg. I know it's a film and things don't need to make sense but the entertainment factor is just not there to justify the sillyness. The original three characters still work well and have some very funny moments. The new characters however are just annoying, especially the grandmother sloth 'granny'. Jesus Christ she is annoying and made me want to clean out my ears with a brillo pad every time she said anything. I have since watched this film again, not through choice there were some child nieces involved, and I must admit I enjoyed it more the second time. The reason for this however is that I expected it to be rubbish so instead of disappointment and dislike there was just dislike.
Verdict: 1.5/5
I am a fan of the Ice Age films, well the first two anyway, the third was just weird. This one however is a film too far. It seems as though they don't really have any good new ideas for the film series. The main piece of evidence for this is the pirate theme. Why are there pirates? I mean seriously why? It just doesn't make any sense. The 'boats' are basically just icebergs with bits of tree on them that act as masts, cannons and in one instance steering. Honestly how do you steer an iceberg. I know it's a film and things don't need to make sense but the entertainment factor is just not there to justify the sillyness. The original three characters still work well and have some very funny moments. The new characters however are just annoying, especially the grandmother sloth 'granny'. Jesus Christ she is annoying and made me want to clean out my ears with a brillo pad every time she said anything. I have since watched this film again, not through choice there were some child nieces involved, and I must admit I enjoyed it more the second time. The reason for this however is that I expected it to be rubbish so instead of disappointment and dislike there was just dislike.
Verdict: 1.5/5
Film review: Gone
Amanda Seyfried lives with her sister and is a little messed up in the head. She believes that some guy kidnapped her when she was younger and she escaped. Everyone else in the world does not believe her however. Sis then goes missing and Amanda is convinced the same dude is back and playing silly buggers again. Lo and behold nobody believes her again and she has to take matters into her own hands. She then runs around pissing lots of people off and lying to almost everyone she meets. The big question is who is telling the truth, Amanda or every bugger else?
The story mechanism in this film is actually quite an interesting and simple one. As mentioned the question of the film is wether Amanda is lying or not and this carries nicely throughout, not only that but it makes you as the audience question it aswell. This makes you interested in the character and the pieces of the puzzle she finds along the way. Unfortunately the ultimate conclusion to the mystery does not live up to the entertainment of the film so far. There are bunches of hints within the film as to who, if anyone, is causing all the bother but the final decision on this conundrum is quite a bit duller than it could have been. I must admit it wasn't obvious but that doesn't mean it was exciting. The acting is for the most part good but is a little shaky here and there. Overall a solid film but not gonna win any awards.
Verdict: 3/5
The story mechanism in this film is actually quite an interesting and simple one. As mentioned the question of the film is wether Amanda is lying or not and this carries nicely throughout, not only that but it makes you as the audience question it aswell. This makes you interested in the character and the pieces of the puzzle she finds along the way. Unfortunately the ultimate conclusion to the mystery does not live up to the entertainment of the film so far. There are bunches of hints within the film as to who, if anyone, is causing all the bother but the final decision on this conundrum is quite a bit duller than it could have been. I must admit it wasn't obvious but that doesn't mean it was exciting. The acting is for the most part good but is a little shaky here and there. Overall a solid film but not gonna win any awards.
Verdict: 3/5
Film review: The Muppets
Jason Segal and his brother, who is a muppet, are massive fans of the muppets. They grab Amy Adams and toddle off to hollywood to visit muppetland. Once there they find that Kermit and his buddies are no longer popular and are selling muppetland to some shifty oil baron whose assistants happen to be muppets. Jason and muppet bro then set about rounding up Kermit and the old gang to put on one last show and save muppetland from the evil baron of oil. There are some fart shoes and rapping and singing and clucking and loads of completely mental stuff that makes us all have warm fuzzy feelings inside.
I cannot express in words how much I loved this film but I will try none the less. This film is bonkers beyond belief but in a brilliant way. There are genuinely parts of the film that make no sense whatsoever but are funny as hell. The rapping scene for instance you just don't see coming but I was wetting myself throughout. Not only is it funny but it is sweet natured and kind hearted just as the muppets are meant to be. The songs are well written, catchy and funny with the cast both human and muppet singing their oversized hearts out. I used to like the muppets when I was a kid so this film helped to bring me back to my childhood and made me feel all innocent again, which for a cynical, miserable bastard like myself is one hell of an achievement. Absolutely brilliant film making.
Verdict: 5/5
I cannot express in words how much I loved this film but I will try none the less. This film is bonkers beyond belief but in a brilliant way. There are genuinely parts of the film that make no sense whatsoever but are funny as hell. The rapping scene for instance you just don't see coming but I was wetting myself throughout. Not only is it funny but it is sweet natured and kind hearted just as the muppets are meant to be. The songs are well written, catchy and funny with the cast both human and muppet singing their oversized hearts out. I used to like the muppets when I was a kid so this film helped to bring me back to my childhood and made me feel all innocent again, which for a cynical, miserable bastard like myself is one hell of an achievement. Absolutely brilliant film making.
Verdict: 5/5
Saturday 22 December 2012
Film review: Killer Joe
Emile Hersch owes some guys some money but he doesn't have any money. He goes to see his dad who also has no money but crafty ol' Emile has a plan up his dirty trailer trash sleeve. Mummy dearest has an insurance policy on her life and is a bit of a cow so the family get Matthew McConaughey on the phone to come and sort mum out. Due to Emiles inability to pay up front Matthew hangs around and has it off with his sis until the cheque clears. Some shifty shenanigans occur and then people get hurt. A lot.
Matthew McConaughey is the best thing about this film. It actually hurts a little writing that sentence as usually Matthew is awful in awful films and I avoid anything he does. In this he is amazing, genuinely. His character is awkward, creepy and ultimately terrifying. He is the kind of guy you do not want to cross and he repeatedly shows us why. I actually don't need to write more than this as he is worth watching this film, I know crazy right? Aside from that the rest of the cast also do a pretty good job. Emiles dad and stepmum are played well and his sis is also very good. Unfortunately Emile himself is good but verges on the annoying and whilst he didn't quite put me off he may put off others. The story is good but quite simple, not that that is a criticism it helps that it is simple, removes all the fluff. The film is also funny in a very dark way and also ever so slightly weird, once you see the KFC scene you will know what I mean. Trust me though this film is worth it.
Verdict: 4.5/5
Matthew McConaughey is the best thing about this film. It actually hurts a little writing that sentence as usually Matthew is awful in awful films and I avoid anything he does. In this he is amazing, genuinely. His character is awkward, creepy and ultimately terrifying. He is the kind of guy you do not want to cross and he repeatedly shows us why. I actually don't need to write more than this as he is worth watching this film, I know crazy right? Aside from that the rest of the cast also do a pretty good job. Emiles dad and stepmum are played well and his sis is also very good. Unfortunately Emile himself is good but verges on the annoying and whilst he didn't quite put me off he may put off others. The story is good but quite simple, not that that is a criticism it helps that it is simple, removes all the fluff. The film is also funny in a very dark way and also ever so slightly weird, once you see the KFC scene you will know what I mean. Trust me though this film is worth it.
Verdict: 4.5/5
Wednesday 19 December 2012
Film review: Red Lights
Cilian Murphy and Sigourney Weaver travel around the states proving that all those pesky psychic mediums and ghosty people are frankly just a bunch of tits with too much time on their hands. They use their investigative powers to shut all these sheisters down and show them the error of their ways. That is until a blind Robert De Niro turns up. He was around in like the 70's or summin but then went away for a bit and then came back for a bit and sends shivers up Sigourneys spine. He then shows people his spoon bending powers and something to do with salt before coming to a big head to head with Cilian. Cilian gets a bit obsessed throughout the film and gets his end away with the Olsen twins sister, not one of the twins but the one who isn't a twin........you know what I mean.
I really enjoyed this film. Before I saw it I must admit I had heard it was quite good so I had relatively high expectations, which it exceeded. Everybody in it is great. Sigourney can do no wrong as the woman was once Lt Ripley, similar can be said for Bobby D who is a complete legend. Yeh both of them have had their share of shite roles but all together they are both amazing actors. Then there is the lead of Cilian. He is a very good actor and carries the film and the descent into obsession fantastically. The story is gripping and hinges on a simple premise, is De Niro actually a psychic. The magic of the film is it has you debating the question along with Cilian. He carries you into his obsession with him and you genuinely care what he finds once there. The ending is also brilliant and I did not see the film going in that direction. Sara claims she did but then stated that she only knew the answer literally 30 seconds before they tell you, that Sara is not working out the film, sorry but you lose that one. Overall I really liked it.
Verdict: 4.5/5
Film review: Sherlock Holmes Game Of Shadows
Robert Downey Jr dons his Olde Time clothing and puts all those hours studying the Queen's english into a frightfully posh accent in order to run around showing Jude Law how brilliant he is. Noomi Rapace turns up and does some Gypsy readings before joining in the running around with Bob and Jude. The three of them run around a lot after some professor guy (sorry don't know the actor and don't care enough to look it up) and Bob stops occasionally to run through a monologue that shows us just how clever he can be. He then meets the professor and they both discuss the merits of each of their intelligence and do indeed come to a conclusion as to who has the superior intellect. O yeh and Stephen Fry pops up who as we all know is also very intelligent. I feel stupid.
Before I start ranting can I just say that I did not dislike this film. Right now thats over I can start. My big problem with the film is the whole I am more intelligent than you mechanic, which is really tiring after a while. I like Sherlock Holmes and the fact he is a brilliant detective but I don't need it rammed down my throat constantly. This is epitomised by the fighting that occurs. The slowed down fight scenes work really well visually and look great played slow and then sped up second time round but it is verging on giving Mr Holmes psychic powers. This is really evident when he and the bad guy have a fight in which they don't actually fight they just intellectually plan their fight and decide through probability who will be the winner. All I could think through it was for god's sake stop faffing around and someone hit someone else in the face, I get it you are both really intelligent but I could do with either of you getting a slap. They also seem to have lost the fact that Holmes is a bit unhinged and partial to tasting fruits he shouldn't be tasting. They used this a little bit in the first film and I liked it but the second feels a little tamer. Saying all that the film is perfectly fine as entertainment. Robert is a good actor and plays the role well and all the support are pretty good aswell, shame they couldn't elevate it above passable.
Verdict: 3/5
Film review: Ted
Marky mark is a bit of a social reject as a kid so his parents decide to buy him a teddy bear. Him and the teddy bear then become bezzies and spend waaaayy too much time together. He makes a wish and the teddy bear then begins to talk like Peter Griffin crossed with Brian. They grow up together whereby Mark gets it on with Meg Griffin, aka Mila Kunis. Turns out Ted is a right dirty little bugger who keeps Mark in a perpetual state of immaturity. Then Phoebe Buffets little brother gets involved and we all learn lessons about life.
If you don't like Family Guy then you probably won't like this film. It's not exactly the same format or comedy style but there are a lot of similarities and some jokes either directly or indirectly reference the big FG. Saying that I love family guy and love this film. Ted is a brilliantly thought out character who provides laughs aplenty. Seth Macfarlane is a great writer and this has translated well into film land. Mark Wahlberg is also showing that he can do comedy really well and gives just as much to the comedy as Ted does. Saying that however it is very much Teds film and without him it would be a bit rubbish, makes sense I know as the film is called Ted but thought I would make the point anyway. Mila Kunis is also very good and helps to add heart to the film and anchors the storyline to more than just joke......innapropriate comment.........joke.........etc. My only problem with the film is it is ever so slightly too reminiscent of family guy in that they use some of the exact same jokes from the show. Still laugh at them but I am a bit of a loser so I would wouldn't I. Overall some really funny shizzle.
Verdict: 4.5/5
If you don't like Family Guy then you probably won't like this film. It's not exactly the same format or comedy style but there are a lot of similarities and some jokes either directly or indirectly reference the big FG. Saying that I love family guy and love this film. Ted is a brilliantly thought out character who provides laughs aplenty. Seth Macfarlane is a great writer and this has translated well into film land. Mark Wahlberg is also showing that he can do comedy really well and gives just as much to the comedy as Ted does. Saying that however it is very much Teds film and without him it would be a bit rubbish, makes sense I know as the film is called Ted but thought I would make the point anyway. Mila Kunis is also very good and helps to add heart to the film and anchors the storyline to more than just joke......innapropriate comment.........joke.........etc. My only problem with the film is it is ever so slightly too reminiscent of family guy in that they use some of the exact same jokes from the show. Still laugh at them but I am a bit of a loser so I would wouldn't I. Overall some really funny shizzle.
Verdict: 4.5/5
Sunday 9 December 2012
Top five christmas films
Due to the fact christmas is looming on the horizon and me and Sara put up our tree today I feel inspired to write my top five christmas films. Most of these will be on most peoples lists but there may be some surprises there. Here goes....
1) Elf
We all know that in recent times Will Ferrel has brought out a torrent of films in which he plays the same character, Ron Burgundy, don't get me wrong I love the moustacheoed one but it does wear a bit thin. Brilliantly however in this he is a sweet, innocent character who skips through life with a massive syrup induced smile on his face. I saw this initially with a group of my mates and none of us expected too much but from the outset, 'Bye, Bye Buddy', we all loved it. Since then it has become a firm favourite in my house and I have even turned Sara on to it. One last thing to say 'SAAAAANTA!............I know him'.
2) The Nightmare Before Christmas
This is Tim Burtons finest film, period. I do like Tim but he often has a habit of just putting a weird costume on Helena Bonham whatsherface and The Depper and throwing them into a room together. In this he follows the story of Jack the Pumpkin King who rules all of halloween. The animation is brilliant and the character and world design is outstanding. The songs are written well and sung amazingly and add to the story without ever making you feel like they are out of place. Just to let you know this film is slightly creepy and not your usual christmas film, it is not for children. Saying this Sara did mention that she thought all the characters were cute when she was younger but to be honest she is a little mental. Brilliant.
3) Die Hard
Ok so yes this has already been in one of my top fives and yes it isn't your typical christmas film but it is undeniable brilliant. Bruce Willis is ace as the borderline alcoholic cop and Alan Rickman is the single greatest german bad guy ever, take that Hitler. It may not be about christmas itself but there is a nice message behind the action and it is set around christmas, besides its my list so I don't care.
4) It's a Wonderful Life
I love James Stewart. He is the star of two of my top films ever (may be a list I do) and this is one of them. I almost feel ashamed to say I hadn't seen this film until a couple of years ago. Those who know me may be surprised that I love this so, those who don't it's because in general I am miserable as sin, truly miserable. This however made me smile all the way through and made me feel all snuggly inside........in a manly way of course. Jimmy S is amazing in the central role and you feel every single emotion that he does throughout the entire film. If you haven't seen this film then get a bleeding move on..........go on..............i'll wait.............must go shopping tomorrow..............see I told you, awesome isn't it.
5) The Muppets Christmas Carol
Firstly can I just say this is in the list for one main reason, Sara would kill me in my sleep if it wasn't. Everybody knows this classic Dickens story and there are bucket loads of adaptations to choose from, special mention to Scrooged with Bill Murray which missed this list by the hairs on its chinny chin chin, but whoever decided to Muppetise this story is a freakin genius, fact. Not only did they add in Kermit and his pals to the story but they cast Sir Michael of Caine to play Scrooge but to do it in the most serious of ways even with all the puppet madness going on around him. Then they chose to make it a musical with some wonderful songs that mesh seemlessly into the story. To top it off there is the addition of gonzo and rizzo as narrators who provide bags of comedy and bring the life out of the story in big, fat christmas sack fulls. Yeh alright I love it too, but for the love of god don't tell Sara.
There you have it. Please post opinions and shizzle on here, on my facebook or feel free to tweet me @poshbob.
Much love.
Film review: Crazy Heart
Jeff Bridges is a washed up country and western star who enjoys a glass of whisky and a frolic in the sack with some less than attractive older ladies. He then meets Maggie Gylenhaal who for some strange reason finds his manboobs and mumbling irresistable and decides to introduce this amazing role model to her four year old child. Jeff then goes on a journey of discovery and has a chat with Colin Farrell along the way. Much whisky is drunk and much lessons are learned and we all feel warm because of it.
I really liked this film. Jeff Bridges is for the most part brilliant in everything he is in and does not change that for this film. He has a great singing voice that really fits the mood of the film and the country and western vibe. Colin Farrell also gives the singing a good shot and as far as I know the both of them are actually the ones singing. Plus both of them act their socks off alongside Maggie Gylenhaal who excels as well. Little bit weird that she finds a shirtless, slightly flabby, alcoholic Jeff Bridges attractive but hey each to their own. The story flows well and you really get into the lives of the characters and believe in each of them. I dont really like it when people writing about or talking about films talk about 'believing' and all that but for this its true. All in all I loved it and while that may not make for the most exciting review it makes for a great film.
Verdict: 4.5/5
I really liked this film. Jeff Bridges is for the most part brilliant in everything he is in and does not change that for this film. He has a great singing voice that really fits the mood of the film and the country and western vibe. Colin Farrell also gives the singing a good shot and as far as I know the both of them are actually the ones singing. Plus both of them act their socks off alongside Maggie Gylenhaal who excels as well. Little bit weird that she finds a shirtless, slightly flabby, alcoholic Jeff Bridges attractive but hey each to their own. The story flows well and you really get into the lives of the characters and believe in each of them. I dont really like it when people writing about or talking about films talk about 'believing' and all that but for this its true. All in all I loved it and while that may not make for the most exciting review it makes for a great film.
Verdict: 4.5/5
Monday 3 December 2012
Film review: Battleship
Liam Neeson has a big boat and is in command of a group of guys who also have big boats. One of these guys is a bit of a rebel who likes to drink, steal and fight so Liam thinks its a good idea to give him his own boat so that he can prove to Liam that he is worthy of nobbing his daughter. Rihanna then pops up for some inexplicable reason and proves that just like singing, acting does not come natural. Then some aliens get involved who for some reason only feel the need to hover about a bit over water and not shoot people. The aliens then visit Hawaii and some people try to act.
Liam Neeson has a real habit of signing up to do really shite films. I understand that the producers probably offered him a load of money but seriously Liam, when the premise of a film is based on a turn based boardgame set upon the exciting mechanic of a lettered and numbered grid just say no. Yes thats right people they based a film on "A3" "miss, G2" "miss, A4" "miss, E7", it's that exciting. They even try to bring this mechanism to the film itself with some completely bullshit reason involving buoys. The aliens are rubbish and look like hells angels bikers who have fallen chin first into some porcupines whilst coming back from a trip to Masterchiefs changing room. They also seem to only have one weapon and have these targeting systems that choose who or what is threatening seemingly at random. Stick a gun in my face, your good, be an innocent engine part, DIE YOU EVIL BASTARD!!! The main dude is rubbish, I may be wrong but I think he was also John Carter of Mars, not the best track record. The acting doesn't really get any better with the girlfriend, the scientists, the brother, the other navy men/women, the random black guy with metal legs, the entire feckin cast. Then theres the vacuum of talent that is Rihanna. She cannot act, period. I also hate her music but thats not really that important here just felt the need to point out that I think she is consistently rubbish across more than one medium. Both me and Sara fell asleep during this and once woken up I had missed nothing other than some really poor special effects. The plot jumps around with complete disregard for a story arc or structure. On a positive note they do use some ACDC songs, still a shit film tho.
Verdict: 1/5
Liam Neeson has a real habit of signing up to do really shite films. I understand that the producers probably offered him a load of money but seriously Liam, when the premise of a film is based on a turn based boardgame set upon the exciting mechanic of a lettered and numbered grid just say no. Yes thats right people they based a film on "A3" "miss, G2" "miss, A4" "miss, E7", it's that exciting. They even try to bring this mechanism to the film itself with some completely bullshit reason involving buoys. The aliens are rubbish and look like hells angels bikers who have fallen chin first into some porcupines whilst coming back from a trip to Masterchiefs changing room. They also seem to only have one weapon and have these targeting systems that choose who or what is threatening seemingly at random. Stick a gun in my face, your good, be an innocent engine part, DIE YOU EVIL BASTARD!!! The main dude is rubbish, I may be wrong but I think he was also John Carter of Mars, not the best track record. The acting doesn't really get any better with the girlfriend, the scientists, the brother, the other navy men/women, the random black guy with metal legs, the entire feckin cast. Then theres the vacuum of talent that is Rihanna. She cannot act, period. I also hate her music but thats not really that important here just felt the need to point out that I think she is consistently rubbish across more than one medium. Both me and Sara fell asleep during this and once woken up I had missed nothing other than some really poor special effects. The plot jumps around with complete disregard for a story arc or structure. On a positive note they do use some ACDC songs, still a shit film tho.
Verdict: 1/5
Wednesday 28 November 2012
Film review: The Pact
A blonde woman goes missing in her late mothers house whilst on skype with her daughter. The blonde woman's blonde sister then also goes missing in the late mothers house and its up to a third blonde sister (or maybe blonde cousin, I wasn't really paying attention) to figure out what's been going on. So she then moves into mummy's house and weird paranormal freaky deaky stuff ensues. The blonde cousin/sister then goes to the police and Johnny Rico from Starship Troopers helps her investigate stuff. A whole bunch of creepy, ghosty stuff happens and then the director tries to surprise us with minimal effect.
Right then. First off I actually like the premise of this film and I like what they tried to do with the slight twist on the genre, unfortunately thats where the good points end. There are way too many blonde people in this film. Now I don't have a problem with blonde people, for example I am quite partial to a bit of Pixie Lott, however shoving a load of very similar looking blonde women all together makes it difficult to keep up with who is who and who has what child, etc. Admittedly this wasn't helped by the fact my attention was partly taken up by the paint drying on the wall but hey ho. The acting isn't too bad but it isn't amazing either. Johnny Rico bless him couldn't really act in Starship Troopers but at least in that he was blowing up giant dung beetles, in this the woodenness shines on through. Again the three blonde women are not terrible but cannot carry the less than exciting script and storyline. The big 'twist' on the genre is a clever idea but certain plotholes ruin it slightly and it feels as though a different director or writer could have done something rather special with it. Shame this didn't happen then and I was subjected to yet another slice of boredom.
Verdict: 1.5/5
Right then. First off I actually like the premise of this film and I like what they tried to do with the slight twist on the genre, unfortunately thats where the good points end. There are way too many blonde people in this film. Now I don't have a problem with blonde people, for example I am quite partial to a bit of Pixie Lott, however shoving a load of very similar looking blonde women all together makes it difficult to keep up with who is who and who has what child, etc. Admittedly this wasn't helped by the fact my attention was partly taken up by the paint drying on the wall but hey ho. The acting isn't too bad but it isn't amazing either. Johnny Rico bless him couldn't really act in Starship Troopers but at least in that he was blowing up giant dung beetles, in this the woodenness shines on through. Again the three blonde women are not terrible but cannot carry the less than exciting script and storyline. The big 'twist' on the genre is a clever idea but certain plotholes ruin it slightly and it feels as though a different director or writer could have done something rather special with it. Shame this didn't happen then and I was subjected to yet another slice of boredom.
Verdict: 1.5/5
Saturday 24 November 2012
Film review: Skyfall
Daniel Craig collects his suit from the dry cleaners and dusts off his walther in order to fight some foreign bad guys. He runs about a bit and shoots some people and theres a train, then Adele sings a song and then Dame Judi Dench gets involved and they both run around a bit as Javier Bardem tries to do bad things. There are also some pretty ladies in there who Daniel inevitably convinces to play a few rounds of 'have a guess whats hidden in my trunks'.
Every time a new bond film comes out there is a part of me that feels as though massive disappointment will follow watching it. Recently they have been rubbish (Casino Royale being the exception) and make being a bond fan very difficult indeed. Despite this I still get excited whenever one comes out, along with the majority of the male population. This film is good. Unfortunately it isn't anything more as there are some flaws in it. Javier Bardem as the bad guy is brilliant but he isn't used enough for my liking. If anyone hasn't seen No Country For Old Men then look it up as Bardem is scary as shit in it and that is what I wanted from him here. His villain is creepy enough but for some reason his screen time felt a little lacking. Another problem is the bond girls. The first we meet in the opening scene and she is a little on the rubbish side acting wise and gets more annoying as the film progresses. The second is smokin hot but as per usual is only really there for bond to play the horizontal shuffle with. Neither of these things are a huge problem but they just kept niggling at me, maybe I am a bit pedantic. Otherwise the film works well. Bond is portrayed as a borderline alcoholic mess which is interesting as this is not really how Bond has been portrayed in the past. No longer is he the cool, calm bastard we all know, he is a damaged man with faults coming out the wazoo. Judi Dench is very good but then again isn't she always and the new Q as played by Ben Wishaw is a great addition to the gang. Plot wise the film is also pretty good and some twists and surprises are shoved in there that make no sense in the universe of bond but hey who cares. All in all I enjoyed myself.
Verdict: 3.5/5
Every time a new bond film comes out there is a part of me that feels as though massive disappointment will follow watching it. Recently they have been rubbish (Casino Royale being the exception) and make being a bond fan very difficult indeed. Despite this I still get excited whenever one comes out, along with the majority of the male population. This film is good. Unfortunately it isn't anything more as there are some flaws in it. Javier Bardem as the bad guy is brilliant but he isn't used enough for my liking. If anyone hasn't seen No Country For Old Men then look it up as Bardem is scary as shit in it and that is what I wanted from him here. His villain is creepy enough but for some reason his screen time felt a little lacking. Another problem is the bond girls. The first we meet in the opening scene and she is a little on the rubbish side acting wise and gets more annoying as the film progresses. The second is smokin hot but as per usual is only really there for bond to play the horizontal shuffle with. Neither of these things are a huge problem but they just kept niggling at me, maybe I am a bit pedantic. Otherwise the film works well. Bond is portrayed as a borderline alcoholic mess which is interesting as this is not really how Bond has been portrayed in the past. No longer is he the cool, calm bastard we all know, he is a damaged man with faults coming out the wazoo. Judi Dench is very good but then again isn't she always and the new Q as played by Ben Wishaw is a great addition to the gang. Plot wise the film is also pretty good and some twists and surprises are shoved in there that make no sense in the universe of bond but hey who cares. All in all I enjoyed myself.
Verdict: 3.5/5
Saturday 17 November 2012
Top 5 superhero films
I am a massive geek and am not ashamed to admit it, I mean I write a film blog for gods sake, not exactly highly ranked on the cool list. One of my other interests as a geek is that of the world of superheroes and villains. As a child I loved spiderman, batman, the xmen and many others. This interest didn't die once I reached adulthood, yes I am an adult so shut your mouth. Much to my wonder superhero films have been having a good run of late and are fast becoming commonplace. As a result this list is my top 5 superhero films, not just of the last few years but of all time.
1) Spiderman 2
The first spiderman, Sam Raimi ones, was brilliant. The villain was great, the casting was great and finally spiderman got to swing his stuff around the streets of the big apple. The second of the trilogy, lets not talk about the third, improved on the first in many ways. Firstly Peter becomes a more well rounded character whose flaws and struggles with both aspects of his dual life ooze out of the screen beautifully and Tobey Maguire, whilst shit in most things, excels as the awkward geek turned superhero. Secondly the relationships between Pete, Aunt May, Harry and Mary Jane are developed and all reach new heights during the film. Lastly the villain is awesome. Doc Oc was never one of my faves in my cartoon days but Alfred Molina brings the character to life. Awesome.
2) Avengers Assemble
This is pretty much in this list for one reason only, I thought it was going to be shit. When I heard Marvel were gonna do a medley film bringing the avengers, never one of my fave groups of superheroes, together for a little romp my heart sank into thoughts of money grabbing nonsense. I then found out Joss Whedon, of Buffy fame, was directing and I became slightly more interested. Safe to say however that when I sat in the cinema to watch it I was less than enthusiastic. To my surprise I loved it. The comedy is spot on but doesn't overwhelm the story, the characters all get their own time and attention and are developed well and the Hulk does indeed smash. Managed to do what I thought nigh on impossible. Great.
3) The Dark Knight
Now many of you will be thinking that all three of the Nolan Batmans should be on here and you would be right however that would make the list slightly dull now wouldn't it, wouldn't it?? Anyway this is my favourite of the three. As with the avengers there is one main reason and it is a very similar one. No its not swapping out Mrs Cruise with Maggie Gyllenhaal or the fact Batman seems to have developed a small amphibian in his throat, it is the late Mr Heath Ledger. When I heard he would be playing the Joker, best villain ever, I scoffed and laughed and indeed guffawed at the preposterousness of it all. Had to eat my words a tad once I saw the film. He is a powerhouse of crazy. Heaths Joker is anything but a Joke. He is chilling, unhinged, oddly charismatic but ultimately a complete feckin lunatic. So amazing.
4) X-men 2
Much like the spiderman trilogy the first Xmen set the scene brilliantly and the third let the side down like Glenn Johnson in an England match........or most of the England team for that matter. The second however is nothing short of genius, well not quite but there are only so many complimentary terms I know. It explores the story and background of many of the main characters but especially Wolverine and Jean Grey. Hugh Jackman was an inspired choice to play the hairy metal one and Famke Jansen can do no wrong in my book as she was once Xenia Onatop, nuff said. It also lets us delve slightly more into why Magneto is such a dick and also what motivates him. Plus how can you hate a film that has Sir Patrick Stewart, Sir Ian McKellen and Brian Cox (wheres the sir Liz, come on sort it out).
5) Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance............
..........
only joking that was shite.......
.........
Its Kick Ass
This manages to blend both comic book nonsense with comedy in a beautiful, funny bloodbath of a film. Nic Cage as demonstrated by my joke, O yeh I know it was funny, often is horseshit in films, Next, both Ghost riders, Knowing, Bangkok Dangerous, The Weatherman, need I go on. In this however he is insanely brilliant and quite often steals the scene, that is however if it wasn't for Chloe Moretz aka Hitgirl. She is a whirlwind of obsenity and limb removing violence that is at first quite shocking and oddly charming. The rest of the cast also play things brilliantly. Mark Strong is a great bad guy alongside McLovin as his dimwit son. This then leaves us with the lead. As good as unknown (I still don't know his name and yes I am too lazy to go on IMDB) the guy embodies hopeless loser with a heart of gold and the common sense of a lemming. If you haven't seen this film where the hell have you been, unless my mother is reading this then please don't watch it mum, you will hate it. Everyone else get it now.
As always if you feel the need to comment on here then feel free. I am not sure how it works, i.e. if you need a Gmail account but if you cant post on here then feel free to facebook me or twitter me with your opinions.
Thanks for reading.
Review: The Hunger Games
Jennifer Lawrence channels her inner teenage angst and wanders through a lovely wooded area looking for a stream. Whilst she is doing this 23 other teenagers are busy trying to kill one another. All of this is overseen by a very shifty looking Donald Sutherland who loves a little bit of underage mass murder, frankly who doesn't. Woody Harrelson pops up aswell to have himself a whisky and act the tit. I won't go much further into it as it ruins the storyline a tad so thats all your getting there.
Right, few things to address here. Firstly it is a great story. I finished reading the book about 5 hours before watching the film. This unfortunately did sour the film for me slightly as the book is outstanding. This doesn't 100% translate into the film. As with any adaptation they have to cut bits out and for the most part the bits they cut were sensible and did not detract from the story. However due to it needing to be feature length it felt ever so slightly rushed. Secondly the book is really quite violent, especially for a book that is meant to be aimed at a young(ish) audience. The film, due to the 12A rating, cuts out pretty much all violence with it occurring mostly off camera, which in itself doesn't bother me but the nature of the film kinda needs the action to be more gritty I mean its kids disembowling one another for christs sake. Thirdly, and for me most important, it is pretty much a watered down Battle Royale. For those who don't know Battle Royale is a japanese film that is in essence this story, obviously there are some differences and as I say the book and story are brilliant but in a pure film sense it just felt like a tame version of the Japanese film. Despite all its misgivings it is a good film. The acting is great, Jennifer Lawrence is easy on the eyes, yes I am aware she is supposed to be 16 but she isnt in real life so back off yeh, it looks beautiful and I did enjoy myself. Well worth a watch but you really do need to choose between the book and the film as either will ruin the other.
Verdict: 3.5/5
Right, few things to address here. Firstly it is a great story. I finished reading the book about 5 hours before watching the film. This unfortunately did sour the film for me slightly as the book is outstanding. This doesn't 100% translate into the film. As with any adaptation they have to cut bits out and for the most part the bits they cut were sensible and did not detract from the story. However due to it needing to be feature length it felt ever so slightly rushed. Secondly the book is really quite violent, especially for a book that is meant to be aimed at a young(ish) audience. The film, due to the 12A rating, cuts out pretty much all violence with it occurring mostly off camera, which in itself doesn't bother me but the nature of the film kinda needs the action to be more gritty I mean its kids disembowling one another for christs sake. Thirdly, and for me most important, it is pretty much a watered down Battle Royale. For those who don't know Battle Royale is a japanese film that is in essence this story, obviously there are some differences and as I say the book and story are brilliant but in a pure film sense it just felt like a tame version of the Japanese film. Despite all its misgivings it is a good film. The acting is great, Jennifer Lawrence is easy on the eyes, yes I am aware she is supposed to be 16 but she isnt in real life so back off yeh, it looks beautiful and I did enjoy myself. Well worth a watch but you really do need to choose between the book and the film as either will ruin the other.
Verdict: 3.5/5
Sunday 11 November 2012
Review: The Cabin In The Woods
Thor grabs four of his mates, bundles them in a van and heads off to his cousins cabin, yeh you guessed it, in the woods. Along the drive we learn a little about each of them and realise that they may be heading towards something less than good for their health. Once at the cabin a generic turn of events occurs that lead to some nastiness befalling each of them. That is half of the film. The other half I wont say much about as it will give a lot away but there is an ever so slightly odd sub story.
Unfortunately there isn't much more I can say about the storyline without giving a hell of a lot away. This film is directed by Joss Whedon of Buffy and The Avengers fame and it has his style stamped all over it. For a start despite sort of being a horror it is pretty funny in places. Joss certainly knows how to throw comedy into all situations, the only problem in this situation is it kind of takes the horror side of things out of. I don't think this was unintentional as the whole film feels more like a comedy than a horror but to be honest I would have preferred it the other way around. Sam Raimi has shown on numerous occasions that horror can still be horror even with comedy elements in it. The 'sub story' is actually reasonably interesting but in my opinion they lay their cards on the table too early and this ruins it slightly. Ultimately I wasn't scared in the slightest and the entertainment/comedy was not enough to keep me fully interested. I did persevere however if only to reach the explanation phase of the film and even then I was a little disappointed and found myself falling through rather large plotholes along the way. Could, and should, have been better.
Verdict: 2/5
Unfortunately there isn't much more I can say about the storyline without giving a hell of a lot away. This film is directed by Joss Whedon of Buffy and The Avengers fame and it has his style stamped all over it. For a start despite sort of being a horror it is pretty funny in places. Joss certainly knows how to throw comedy into all situations, the only problem in this situation is it kind of takes the horror side of things out of. I don't think this was unintentional as the whole film feels more like a comedy than a horror but to be honest I would have preferred it the other way around. Sam Raimi has shown on numerous occasions that horror can still be horror even with comedy elements in it. The 'sub story' is actually reasonably interesting but in my opinion they lay their cards on the table too early and this ruins it slightly. Ultimately I wasn't scared in the slightest and the entertainment/comedy was not enough to keep me fully interested. I did persevere however if only to reach the explanation phase of the film and even then I was a little disappointed and found myself falling through rather large plotholes along the way. Could, and should, have been better.
Verdict: 2/5
Friday 9 November 2012
Review: Pirates! In An Adventure With Scientists
Hugh Grant gets the dudes who fiddle about with Wallace and Gromit to slap a plastecine beard on his chops in order to pirate it up. He wants to be the best pirate he can be but all the other pirates are right bullies and make him feel real bad about his skill set. He enters the pirate of the year competition and in order to try and win it he meets David Tenant in the form of Charles Darwin and together with a very fat, flightless parrot set out on their merry way to adventure.
Firstly Aardman are the aforementioned dudes and as we all know they are completely awesome at what they do, all you have to do is watch curse of the wererabbit to know I'm right. The animation is brilliant. As far as I know it is actually hand made models and stop motion and to be honest I like it better that way so don't actually care if I am wrong. The characters are great and the story is very clever. Typical aardman the film is full of jokes that jump up and punch you in the face and jokes that sneak in the back door quietly and tickle you in your sleep. Maybe got a bit carried away with that analogy, anywho the film is pretty good. Not as good as any of the wallace and gromits unfortunately but that is like saying that monkfish isn't as good as lobster, again not the best analogy but I like lobster so screw you.
Verdict: 4/5
Firstly Aardman are the aforementioned dudes and as we all know they are completely awesome at what they do, all you have to do is watch curse of the wererabbit to know I'm right. The animation is brilliant. As far as I know it is actually hand made models and stop motion and to be honest I like it better that way so don't actually care if I am wrong. The characters are great and the story is very clever. Typical aardman the film is full of jokes that jump up and punch you in the face and jokes that sneak in the back door quietly and tickle you in your sleep. Maybe got a bit carried away with that analogy, anywho the film is pretty good. Not as good as any of the wallace and gromits unfortunately but that is like saying that monkfish isn't as good as lobster, again not the best analogy but I like lobster so screw you.
Verdict: 4/5
Monday 5 November 2012
Top five tearjerkers (SPOILER ALERT!)
Next list of films here people. This one I have dubbed best tearjerkers but in reality it means the films that have managed to make me cry. I will also let you know the exact parts I cried at because I am comfortable with my manliness. Oddly the list still makes five, isn't life fun.
SPOILER ALERT. I have put this because I will be ruining parts of the films in my explanations. If you haven't seen the film then on your head be it if you read the whole blurb.
1) Forrest Gump
Yes Forrest life is like a box of chocolates and you are the saccharine little bastard that brings a tear to your eye no matter how hard you try. I actually cry twice at this film. The first bit is when Forrest visits Jenny and finds out he has a son, upon finding out this piece of information he then begins to cry and bottom lip aquivering asks 'is he stupid like me?'. The second bit is when Jenny has passed on and he is having a conversation with her grave. Both bits get me every god damn time. What a film. O shit three times, the bit with Bubba in Vietnam aswell, god damn you Tom Hanks.
2) I Am Legend
You may think this is an odd addition to this list however for all those who have seen it you know what bit I am about to mention. Will Smith is the only survivor in New York following a viral infection that turns most of the population into vampires. The toothy gits then set about killing all those who aren't infected except for Big Willie Style. The Fresh Prince has only one pal in the world, no not Jazzy Jeff this time, and that is in the form of his german shepherd dog Sam. Sam gets bitten by vamp dogs whilst attempting to protect young William and you guessed it once home begins to turn. Will then has to make the decision to kill Sam whilst hugging her as she lets out her last living breath and turns. It genuinely breaks my heart. The crying doesn't stop there however as the next scene Will has to try to come to terms with the death and spirals further into madness by chatting up a plastic woman. Great stuff.
3) The Pursuit Of Happyness
Bloody Will Smith again. This film is both one of the most depressing things I have ever seen and also one of the most uplifting. Will is a salesman down on his luck and money and has to spend a rather large chunk of his life living on the streets with his son. Whilst on the streets he is studying and working for free to become a stockbroker. The crying occurs twice again in this film. The first is when both he and his son have no choice but to sleep in the toilet of a subway station whilst some mental bloke tries to bust in. The sheer rockbottomness (thats a word right?) of it cuts me real deep. The second is at the end of the film when finally after all the struggle and the pain and the hard work Big Willie finally gets the job. Seriously that man makes me cry in everything, I even cried during The Fresh Prince once.
4) Turner and Hooch
This is one of the greatest films ever made, fact. Tom Hanks, again, plays a cop who has to take in a French Mastiff called Hooch who is a witness to a murder. The film then spends its time firmly in the comedy role with a man vs dog vs do they really love each other storyline. The crying occurs quite near the end of the film when, seriously stop reading if you haven't seen this film you will regret it, Hooch gets shot. We then see a panicked Turner standing over him whilst his pretty vet lady friend person tries her hardest to bring Hooch back to life, alas to no avail. The big slobbery mess of a dog dies in front of our eyes and mine fill up with a strange salty tasting clear liquid. I might cry now just thinking about it.
5) Man On Fire
Denzel Washington this time. He spends half the film bonding with a young Dakota Fanning, not in a weird way but in a father daughter way, and the other half removing body parts from the scumbags who have decided to kidnap her. The crying in this film again occurs at the end when Denzel finally manages to get Dakota back to her family in exchange for his own life. His final moments are as he slowly closes his eyes in the back of a car as he is taken away and dies in peace. Genius.
As always post comments and other films that you would add to this list. Please though if you want to put what bit makes you cry then put spoiler alert, if indeed it is a spoiler, if not then don't as that would make no sense.
SPOILER ALERT. I have put this because I will be ruining parts of the films in my explanations. If you haven't seen the film then on your head be it if you read the whole blurb.
1) Forrest Gump
Yes Forrest life is like a box of chocolates and you are the saccharine little bastard that brings a tear to your eye no matter how hard you try. I actually cry twice at this film. The first bit is when Forrest visits Jenny and finds out he has a son, upon finding out this piece of information he then begins to cry and bottom lip aquivering asks 'is he stupid like me?'. The second bit is when Jenny has passed on and he is having a conversation with her grave. Both bits get me every god damn time. What a film. O shit three times, the bit with Bubba in Vietnam aswell, god damn you Tom Hanks.
2) I Am Legend
You may think this is an odd addition to this list however for all those who have seen it you know what bit I am about to mention. Will Smith is the only survivor in New York following a viral infection that turns most of the population into vampires. The toothy gits then set about killing all those who aren't infected except for Big Willie Style. The Fresh Prince has only one pal in the world, no not Jazzy Jeff this time, and that is in the form of his german shepherd dog Sam. Sam gets bitten by vamp dogs whilst attempting to protect young William and you guessed it once home begins to turn. Will then has to make the decision to kill Sam whilst hugging her as she lets out her last living breath and turns. It genuinely breaks my heart. The crying doesn't stop there however as the next scene Will has to try to come to terms with the death and spirals further into madness by chatting up a plastic woman. Great stuff.
3) The Pursuit Of Happyness
Bloody Will Smith again. This film is both one of the most depressing things I have ever seen and also one of the most uplifting. Will is a salesman down on his luck and money and has to spend a rather large chunk of his life living on the streets with his son. Whilst on the streets he is studying and working for free to become a stockbroker. The crying occurs twice again in this film. The first is when both he and his son have no choice but to sleep in the toilet of a subway station whilst some mental bloke tries to bust in. The sheer rockbottomness (thats a word right?) of it cuts me real deep. The second is at the end of the film when finally after all the struggle and the pain and the hard work Big Willie finally gets the job. Seriously that man makes me cry in everything, I even cried during The Fresh Prince once.
4) Turner and Hooch
This is one of the greatest films ever made, fact. Tom Hanks, again, plays a cop who has to take in a French Mastiff called Hooch who is a witness to a murder. The film then spends its time firmly in the comedy role with a man vs dog vs do they really love each other storyline. The crying occurs quite near the end of the film when, seriously stop reading if you haven't seen this film you will regret it, Hooch gets shot. We then see a panicked Turner standing over him whilst his pretty vet lady friend person tries her hardest to bring Hooch back to life, alas to no avail. The big slobbery mess of a dog dies in front of our eyes and mine fill up with a strange salty tasting clear liquid. I might cry now just thinking about it.
5) Man On Fire
Denzel Washington this time. He spends half the film bonding with a young Dakota Fanning, not in a weird way but in a father daughter way, and the other half removing body parts from the scumbags who have decided to kidnap her. The crying in this film again occurs at the end when Denzel finally manages to get Dakota back to her family in exchange for his own life. His final moments are as he slowly closes his eyes in the back of a car as he is taken away and dies in peace. Genius.
As always post comments and other films that you would add to this list. Please though if you want to put what bit makes you cry then put spoiler alert, if indeed it is a spoiler, if not then don't as that would make no sense.
Review: The Iron Lady
Meryl Streep visits the make up trailer and turns herself into good old Maggie Thatcher for a little romp into the titular ladies psyche. Jim Broadbent hops on board to play the old version of Mr Thatcher and spends most of his time dickin' about in stupid hats and talking very loudly. Olivia someone (I forget her last name, the one from peep show) poshes it up to play Carol. The story spends the majority of its time with Mags in her twilight years battling with the fact she is off her rocker. Every now and again it decides to pop back in time and let us know some of the history behind the woman.
To start with it is acted brilliantly. I am not a Streep fan and for the most part she annoys the crap out of me (Mamma Mia, Its Complicated, to name a couple) but in this film she is pretty awesome. From the moment you see her on screen with her teeth jutting out at that mightily odd angle she is Maggie Thatcher. Jim Broadbent and the Olivia woman also hold their own and the whole Thatcher clan (minus the son, who knew) are well represented. The big problem with the film however is it is ever so slightly boring. For someone who knows bugger all about MT's reign and rise to power the film didn't spend enough time explaining things. There are nice bits in it about when she was young and the struggles she had to face but way too much focuses on her attempting to collect all her marbles and jam them back in their bag. Im not saying I didn't like those bits but the film overdoes it a tad. There was a moment when I had completely stopped paying attention and began deciding if Captain America or Rogue from X-men should be my new purchase on my avengers game, turns out after an extensive pro and con list the correct answer is Captain America. Good effort but a shame it couldn't hold my attention more.
Verdict: 3/5 (mainly for the acting chops)
To start with it is acted brilliantly. I am not a Streep fan and for the most part she annoys the crap out of me (Mamma Mia, Its Complicated, to name a couple) but in this film she is pretty awesome. From the moment you see her on screen with her teeth jutting out at that mightily odd angle she is Maggie Thatcher. Jim Broadbent and the Olivia woman also hold their own and the whole Thatcher clan (minus the son, who knew) are well represented. The big problem with the film however is it is ever so slightly boring. For someone who knows bugger all about MT's reign and rise to power the film didn't spend enough time explaining things. There are nice bits in it about when she was young and the struggles she had to face but way too much focuses on her attempting to collect all her marbles and jam them back in their bag. Im not saying I didn't like those bits but the film overdoes it a tad. There was a moment when I had completely stopped paying attention and began deciding if Captain America or Rogue from X-men should be my new purchase on my avengers game, turns out after an extensive pro and con list the correct answer is Captain America. Good effort but a shame it couldn't hold my attention more.
Verdict: 3/5 (mainly for the acting chops)
Sunday 28 October 2012
Top five action films
These are not in any particular order.
1) Die Hard
Now this is just referring to the first one, not that the others aren't great but this is the one that got the whole thing going. Bruce Willis, for all his flaws, is a brilliant action star. No other actor can pull off the slightly aging, slightly unfit, clumsy tough guy bit as well as Bruce can. From the opening scene its his film and he shines as John Maclane. If that wasn't enough Alan Rickman then turns up and puts on what can only be described as a 'so bad its brilliant' german accent to become one of the greatest villains of all time. If you haven't had the wonder of joining these two as they battle it out in Nakatomi Towers then you haven't lived.
2) The Raid
On paper this film does not look good. Its a phillipino martial arts film starring a bunch of nobodies, set in one location and directed by a welsh guy. The martial art in question is Pencak Silat which is a beautiful martial art that has criminally not been used much in films. The action stars are surprisingly good actors and the plot, whilst simple, works fantastically. The best thing however is the action itself. Each scene is choreographed to within an inch of its life and each elbow, punch, kick and use of a foreign object looks and feels real. Genius.
3) Terminator 2: Judgement Day
A list like this wouldn't be complete without an Arnie film. There are so many that could be added onto here but none of them compare to the second terminator. Arnie has never been better than when he is the emotionless killing machine named in the title. Add into this Robert Patrick as the unstoppable T1000 and you have an action packed thrill ride that is full of amazing set pieces. Admittedly it isn't without its flaws, these being the Conners. John is so irritating that half the time you find yourself siding with Robert instead of Arnie. Sarah is also just as irritating but this is more due to the sudden evolution from barbie to G.I.Jane, all while making very odd sounds when distressed or in danger.
4) The Bourne Trilogy
Ok I know this is cheating slightly but none of these films work without the others so back off alright. The first one is the worst of the three partly due to the female lead in it and partly because its the only one not directed by Paul Greengrass, despite this however it is still brilliant. Matt Damon has never been better, and I am a Matt Damon fan. The action is claustrophobic and brutal but the story is complex and engaging. The trilogy changed the way that people viewed action films, so much so that Bond changed his colours and 'Bourned' himself up for Casino Royale.
5) Goldeneye
This is in here more for personal reasons. Don't get me wrong it is a great film but it meant a lot to me when I was younger and not just because Xenia Onatop is ridiculously hot. It was one of the films that got me into film in general and also the wonderful world of James Bond. The story is great, one of the best in the bond series, and the villains are awesome. Pierce Brosnan is a brilliant Bond, in this film anyway, and crashes through the film with a suave, cocky attitude that we have all grown to love, well most of us anyway. Shame he had to ruin it a little in the follow up films he did. It also contains a bucketload of british acting greats, Sean Bean, Robbie Coltrane, Judi Dench to name a few. Ace.
So there you have it. As I said in the intro feel free to add your own top five here and any that you think I may have missed.
1) Die Hard
Now this is just referring to the first one, not that the others aren't great but this is the one that got the whole thing going. Bruce Willis, for all his flaws, is a brilliant action star. No other actor can pull off the slightly aging, slightly unfit, clumsy tough guy bit as well as Bruce can. From the opening scene its his film and he shines as John Maclane. If that wasn't enough Alan Rickman then turns up and puts on what can only be described as a 'so bad its brilliant' german accent to become one of the greatest villains of all time. If you haven't had the wonder of joining these two as they battle it out in Nakatomi Towers then you haven't lived.
2) The Raid
On paper this film does not look good. Its a phillipino martial arts film starring a bunch of nobodies, set in one location and directed by a welsh guy. The martial art in question is Pencak Silat which is a beautiful martial art that has criminally not been used much in films. The action stars are surprisingly good actors and the plot, whilst simple, works fantastically. The best thing however is the action itself. Each scene is choreographed to within an inch of its life and each elbow, punch, kick and use of a foreign object looks and feels real. Genius.
3) Terminator 2: Judgement Day
A list like this wouldn't be complete without an Arnie film. There are so many that could be added onto here but none of them compare to the second terminator. Arnie has never been better than when he is the emotionless killing machine named in the title. Add into this Robert Patrick as the unstoppable T1000 and you have an action packed thrill ride that is full of amazing set pieces. Admittedly it isn't without its flaws, these being the Conners. John is so irritating that half the time you find yourself siding with Robert instead of Arnie. Sarah is also just as irritating but this is more due to the sudden evolution from barbie to G.I.Jane, all while making very odd sounds when distressed or in danger.
4) The Bourne Trilogy
Ok I know this is cheating slightly but none of these films work without the others so back off alright. The first one is the worst of the three partly due to the female lead in it and partly because its the only one not directed by Paul Greengrass, despite this however it is still brilliant. Matt Damon has never been better, and I am a Matt Damon fan. The action is claustrophobic and brutal but the story is complex and engaging. The trilogy changed the way that people viewed action films, so much so that Bond changed his colours and 'Bourned' himself up for Casino Royale.
5) Goldeneye
This is in here more for personal reasons. Don't get me wrong it is a great film but it meant a lot to me when I was younger and not just because Xenia Onatop is ridiculously hot. It was one of the films that got me into film in general and also the wonderful world of James Bond. The story is great, one of the best in the bond series, and the villains are awesome. Pierce Brosnan is a brilliant Bond, in this film anyway, and crashes through the film with a suave, cocky attitude that we have all grown to love, well most of us anyway. Shame he had to ruin it a little in the follow up films he did. It also contains a bucketload of british acting greats, Sean Bean, Robbie Coltrane, Judi Dench to name a few. Ace.
So there you have it. As I said in the intro feel free to add your own top five here and any that you think I may have missed.
Taken 2
Liam 'Wolfpuncher' Neeson is back and is off to Europe again, Istanbul, to punch a load of foreigners in the face. This time however it isn't just the annoying late twenties year old pretending to be a 16 year old who gets herself 'taken' but the whole Neeson clan. I wont delve any further into the plot as I don't wanna ruin anything for anyone, admittedly not the most complex plot but I wouldn't want to be accused of spoiling things now would I. Little bit of advice though Liam, if you find yourself on trip advisor anytime soon get up from the computer, slap yourself in the face with a copy of the first film and have a cup of tea instead.
There is one big problem with this film and that is that it is too tame. By that I mean the action sequences. Yeah I could hammer on about the fact the plot isn't great, it isn't, and that the acting is slightly off, way off in some characters cases, but ultimately that isn't what we want this film for. The first one surprised almost everybody because it was full of gritty, harsh fight scenes and a simple storyline that started at 100mph and didn't slow down until everyone in france was dead. The second one however decides to plump for a slower start to the film that takes way too long to get off the ground and when it does it clumps along at a rather sedate pace. Don't get me wrong its not the worst film in the world but it could, and should, have been a hell of a lot better. On a positive note however the annoying teenage/adult daughter is slightly less whiny.
Verdict: 2/5
Introduction
Hello to anybody who has actually found this blog.
Just thought I would add a little background to why I am writing this. I am a huge fan of films. Have been ever since I first saw Darth Vader swing a lightsaber, John Hurts chest burst and Tom Hanks get slobbered on by a French Mastiff. Coupled with this I am an opinionated bastard who loves nothing more than having a right old moan. I started writing film reviews on Facebook in response to two Colin Firth films. The first was A Kings Speech, one of the greatest films of last year and genuinely one of my favourite films. The second was A Single Man, a film which I hated with such a passion I felt the need to let everybody know about it. I was so annoyed at this film that I had a bit of a rant and hence Poshbobs (a nickname some friends in manchester gave me) film reviews were born.
I hope you find these reviews helpful but as always they are just an opinion. I will also post on here other little opinions of mine such as top fives. In any case I welcome comments and other opinions and in lists of fives I would love people to post their own alternatives.
Thanks for reading
Poshbob
Just thought I would add a little background to why I am writing this. I am a huge fan of films. Have been ever since I first saw Darth Vader swing a lightsaber, John Hurts chest burst and Tom Hanks get slobbered on by a French Mastiff. Coupled with this I am an opinionated bastard who loves nothing more than having a right old moan. I started writing film reviews on Facebook in response to two Colin Firth films. The first was A Kings Speech, one of the greatest films of last year and genuinely one of my favourite films. The second was A Single Man, a film which I hated with such a passion I felt the need to let everybody know about it. I was so annoyed at this film that I had a bit of a rant and hence Poshbobs (a nickname some friends in manchester gave me) film reviews were born.
I hope you find these reviews helpful but as always they are just an opinion. I will also post on here other little opinions of mine such as top fives. In any case I welcome comments and other opinions and in lists of fives I would love people to post their own alternatives.
Thanks for reading
Poshbob
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