Will Smith dusts off his old black suit, white shirt and black tie and starts neuralising the crap out of the American public again. Tommy Lee Jones is especially miserable and it may have something to do with Emma Thompson rocking up as the new boss. Some old enemy of Tommy's escapes jail with the help of a pussycat doll and travels back in time to carry out some mischief. Big Willy realises this and follows the bad man into the past in order to throw a spanner into the works. Once here he meets Josh Brolin who is pretending to be a young Tommy and the two of them get up to all sorts of 60's related shenanigans.
Men In Black the original was a great idea and turned into a great film. Will Smith is a very good comic actor and is able to make the majority of situations funny and entertaining. Then Men In Black 2 came along and the standard dropped just a tad. Safe to say then that the enthusiasm for the third installment was not there. Surprisingly though it isn't actually that bad. Will Smith does his usual comedy thing and I laughed on many occasions and found myself actually enjoying the film. Tommy Lee Jones is always good but is not really in the film much but his 60's counterpart Josh Brolin is equally good. Both pull of miserable southern drawl brilliantly. The only weak point in the chain is the bad guy who cannot act very well, at all. He has a very odd accent that I think was meant to be British but I couldn't really tell. To be honest they would need to go some to best Edgar the bug from the first film but come on people put a little more effort in. Ignoring that I found the film entertaining enough and actually not bad.
Verdict: 3/5
Sunday 20 January 2013
Thursday 17 January 2013
Film review: Les Miserables
Wolverine and Maximus Decimus Meridius put down their weapons and pick up a song sheet to go head to head in the most almighty sing off in history. One is a french guy who is nice but breaks the law and the other is another french guy who upholds the law but is a bit of a spanner. Throughout their little tete et tete years and supporting characters fly by. Anne Hathaway pops up to do her best SuBo impression and Amanda Seyfried steps in to slightly annoy. All of this leads to La Revolution and some young whipper snappers try to take on the entirety of the Parisian law enforcement. Many memorable songs are crammed into the action and we all learn why it isn't great to be a prostitute in france.
Sara, my girlfriend for those who don't know, is genuinely obsessed with Les Miserables. She has seen the stage show 3 or 4 times, has the album constantly on in the car and provides the soundtrack to her own life using the majority of the songs, I on the other hand am the complete opposite. I have never seen the show, have never heard the majority of the songs and thought SuBo had found herself a genuinely original new pop song for the new millenium. Due to these reasons when we heard there was to be a film made me and Sara had slighlty polarised opinions, me less than bothered and Sara more excited than a child on christmas morning, or herself on christmas morning for that matter. Despite these differences in enthusiasm I was interested in seeing the film but did not expect to completely love it as much as I did. It was genuinely one of the most emotionally powerful things I have seen. The music is brilliant and very cleverly written and the fact that the entire dialogue is sung doesn't bother me in the slightest. The characters, aside from Amanda Seyfrieds, Sacha Baron Cohens and Helena Bonham Carters, are expertly crafted and all have their own problems and mountains to conquer. Hugh Jackman as Jean Valjean is outstanding, Anne Hathaway is also at the very top of her game and despite what a lot of people are saying I really liked Russell Crowe and thought he gave it some serious welly. I am not afraid to admit I cried twice in this film, I won't say when but if you do not cry then you are dead inside, fact. All thats left to say is this film is brilliant, go see it and get yourself all cultured and stuff.
Verdict: 5/5
Sara, my girlfriend for those who don't know, is genuinely obsessed with Les Miserables. She has seen the stage show 3 or 4 times, has the album constantly on in the car and provides the soundtrack to her own life using the majority of the songs, I on the other hand am the complete opposite. I have never seen the show, have never heard the majority of the songs and thought SuBo had found herself a genuinely original new pop song for the new millenium. Due to these reasons when we heard there was to be a film made me and Sara had slighlty polarised opinions, me less than bothered and Sara more excited than a child on christmas morning, or herself on christmas morning for that matter. Despite these differences in enthusiasm I was interested in seeing the film but did not expect to completely love it as much as I did. It was genuinely one of the most emotionally powerful things I have seen. The music is brilliant and very cleverly written and the fact that the entire dialogue is sung doesn't bother me in the slightest. The characters, aside from Amanda Seyfrieds, Sacha Baron Cohens and Helena Bonham Carters, are expertly crafted and all have their own problems and mountains to conquer. Hugh Jackman as Jean Valjean is outstanding, Anne Hathaway is also at the very top of her game and despite what a lot of people are saying I really liked Russell Crowe and thought he gave it some serious welly. I am not afraid to admit I cried twice in this film, I won't say when but if you do not cry then you are dead inside, fact. All thats left to say is this film is brilliant, go see it and get yourself all cultured and stuff.
Verdict: 5/5
Saturday 12 January 2013
Film review: War Horse
An English country boy lives in an English country house and watches a horse give birth with a little too much enthusiasm. He then keeps watching the foal as it grows and becomes a big horse. Once a big horse the boys dad buys it for way too much money and to use it for a purpose that would inevitably lead it to have severe health problems. Loki of Thor and The Avengers fame then turns up and takes the horse to war. Once at war the horse spends a lot of time running away from people and meeting lots of foreigners who love horses. Inevitably the boy and the horse meet back up and at some point we are all meant to cry.
This story as most of you know was originally on stage, and probably a book at some point aswell. According to my parents the stage show is amazing and the horse puppet people stop being puppet people and become actual real life horses in front of your eyes. I cannot vouch for this unfortunately as I haven't seen the stage show but as far as the film is concerned it may have been made better if a few puppets were involved. The film spends three hours trying its hardest to make you cry. Every person involved has been told to act to within an inch of their lives and then add another 10%. Even the good actors go way over the top in a bid to make you love this horse. I did not love this horse. Admittedly it is not the horses fault as it is actually very good at doing all its little horsey things and is very convincing as a horse. The filmmakers however try to make the horse something it is not and anthropomorphise (thats a word right) the crap out of it. Also it does bug me that someone, anyone throughout the film from the good guys to the bad didn't think to shoot the horse. I am not saying I wanted the horse shot but in a war situation why would all those people keep it alive, especially when it is sometimes a pain in the arse and behaves badly and would have made a lot of sandwiches. Again, please see Best Exotic Marigold Hotel for reference, they have non english speaking people speak english to each other be them german or french, ITS ANNOYING. That however is not as annoying as them trying to make me cry all of the time, any more and they would have been cutting onions in my living room and playing coldplay. Bunch of crap.
Verdict: 1/5
This story as most of you know was originally on stage, and probably a book at some point aswell. According to my parents the stage show is amazing and the horse puppet people stop being puppet people and become actual real life horses in front of your eyes. I cannot vouch for this unfortunately as I haven't seen the stage show but as far as the film is concerned it may have been made better if a few puppets were involved. The film spends three hours trying its hardest to make you cry. Every person involved has been told to act to within an inch of their lives and then add another 10%. Even the good actors go way over the top in a bid to make you love this horse. I did not love this horse. Admittedly it is not the horses fault as it is actually very good at doing all its little horsey things and is very convincing as a horse. The filmmakers however try to make the horse something it is not and anthropomorphise (thats a word right) the crap out of it. Also it does bug me that someone, anyone throughout the film from the good guys to the bad didn't think to shoot the horse. I am not saying I wanted the horse shot but in a war situation why would all those people keep it alive, especially when it is sometimes a pain in the arse and behaves badly and would have made a lot of sandwiches. Again, please see Best Exotic Marigold Hotel for reference, they have non english speaking people speak english to each other be them german or french, ITS ANNOYING. That however is not as annoying as them trying to make me cry all of the time, any more and they would have been cutting onions in my living room and playing coldplay. Bunch of crap.
Verdict: 1/5
Film review: The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel
A bunch of really old people including Maggie Smith, Judi Dench and Bill Nighy decide to up sticks and spend their twilight years at some hotel in India run by Dev Patel. Some of these old people are determined to go on a journey of self enlightenment whilst others feel the need to moan all of the time. They continue to crash around india having all kinds of old people fun whilst all of the Indian people speak english. Ultimately they all end up making some kind of discovery and bang on about it and I get incredibly bored.
On paper this film should have been alright. It has some awesome british acting talent in it and they don't half put some gusto into their performances and before I continue this review I will always love each and every one of them. Now that bits over I can talk about the utter nonsense this film is. I couldn't help but not get bored of characters and their very boring stories. The individual reasons why they up and move to india barely make sense in the most part and how they all manage to end up in the same hotel together that noone else seems to be in is beyond me, admittedly I may not have been paying attention at the time they explained it. The big three actors mentioned above got away with their story because they are legends but the rest of the cast are insanely irritating and insist on overacting most of the time. Dev Patel is actually not a bad actor but does join the overacting crew slightly. By far the most annoying thing about this film is the fact that when two Indian people, from India are talking to one another in India they speak English, why??? Is it really that hard to have subtitles for those moments or are English people really that averse to reading that we need everything to be in English. May be a personal thing but it really gets on my tits. Overall it is a very dull film and I did not care for it.
Verdict: 1.5/5
On paper this film should have been alright. It has some awesome british acting talent in it and they don't half put some gusto into their performances and before I continue this review I will always love each and every one of them. Now that bits over I can talk about the utter nonsense this film is. I couldn't help but not get bored of characters and their very boring stories. The individual reasons why they up and move to india barely make sense in the most part and how they all manage to end up in the same hotel together that noone else seems to be in is beyond me, admittedly I may not have been paying attention at the time they explained it. The big three actors mentioned above got away with their story because they are legends but the rest of the cast are insanely irritating and insist on overacting most of the time. Dev Patel is actually not a bad actor but does join the overacting crew slightly. By far the most annoying thing about this film is the fact that when two Indian people, from India are talking to one another in India they speak English, why??? Is it really that hard to have subtitles for those moments or are English people really that averse to reading that we need everything to be in English. May be a personal thing but it really gets on my tits. Overall it is a very dull film and I did not care for it.
Verdict: 1.5/5
Tuesday 8 January 2013
Film review: What To Expect When You Are Expecting
A bunch of women are pregnant and/or are expecting children to enter their lives at some point. J'Lo is adopting some african child with her french boyfriend, Cameron Diaz is preggers with that dude from Glees baby and is also looking old, some other woman loves babies and gets pregnant and some young person gets knocked up because she doesn't understand what a condom or a diaphragm is. Through varying degrees of annoyance they all have different things to deal with and all love moaning about it. Chris rock and some other 'funny' men rock up aswell in order to provide some comic relief from all the moaning and for the most part fail miserably. Oh my god, you are joking me??? They all know one another???? Wow thats so original, I honestly haven't seen anything like that before in films such as Love Actually, New Years Eve, Valentines Day and other shite.
This film was tedious at best. The women are all whiny, annoying little shits who find nothing better to do than moan about the situation they are in. I get it pregnancy is difficult but I don't really need it shoved down my throat in the form of sweaty, angry women. The main stories are very irritating and not only that but the sub stories are just as rubbish. The main characters are just as irritating as are the minor characters, special mention must be made for the fat friend of the baby shop owner who I wanted to punch in the face every time she opened her god damn mouth. The only slight relief from the utter dreadfulness is Chris Rock who along with his crew of dads try their hardest to squeeze an ounce of comedy from the film and occasionally succeed but not in the form of a laugh but in the form of 'oh that bit wasn't awful'. I hated this film and it is genuinely one of the worst things I have ever seen.
Verdict: 0.5/5 (the .5 is because I still like Chris Rock despite this mess)
This film was tedious at best. The women are all whiny, annoying little shits who find nothing better to do than moan about the situation they are in. I get it pregnancy is difficult but I don't really need it shoved down my throat in the form of sweaty, angry women. The main stories are very irritating and not only that but the sub stories are just as rubbish. The main characters are just as irritating as are the minor characters, special mention must be made for the fat friend of the baby shop owner who I wanted to punch in the face every time she opened her god damn mouth. The only slight relief from the utter dreadfulness is Chris Rock who along with his crew of dads try their hardest to squeeze an ounce of comedy from the film and occasionally succeed but not in the form of a laugh but in the form of 'oh that bit wasn't awful'. I hated this film and it is genuinely one of the worst things I have ever seen.
Verdict: 0.5/5 (the .5 is because I still like Chris Rock despite this mess)
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