Nebraska

Bruce Dern is an old guy who has two sons, Will Forte and Saul from breaking bad. Bruce has lost his marbles a little recently and has recieved a letter in the post saying he has won $1million. Will thinks it's a scam but keeps getting phone calls saying Bruce has been found walking to Lincoln Nebraska in order to collect his winnings. To appease his father he agrees to drive him to Lincoln to help in his quest. The drive is long so they decide to stop off in somewhere to see Bruce's extended family. Saul and the mum join them and we all bond a little over Bruce's apparent mental degradation.

Of all of this years Oscar nominees this is the one I knew least about. I knew it had Bruce Dern in it..........that's it.......oh and it's about Nebraska. In this day and age of technology and social media it is nigh on impossible to go into a film with no background knowledge and I am so glad that I managed it with this. It starts off on a quiet tone with Bruce trundling down the slip road of a highway and getting picked up by the police. The opening shot is devoid of much sound and is shot in stunning black and white. We then get introduced to the very simple premise of the film and meet the rest of the family. The set up is deliberately quick as we can then focus on the familial relationships within the film particularly with Will Forte's character and his alcoholic, emotionally absent father. The acting is spot on from everybody, and I mean literally everybody, even the smallest characters are completely believable as real life human beings. Due to this it feels like you are actually travelling with Will and Bruce on their journey and not just watching and that the world within the film is a completely real one, with real people who are just passing by.

The tone of the film is light but with serious notes and there are some real laugh out loud moments. It is not in anyway a comedy film but the laughter stems from real life situations that we can all relate to and therein lies the beauty of it. By making you relate to the normality of everything it forces you to feel alongside the characters and culminates in one of the greatest father/son moments certainly I have ever seen. I loved this film and it is probably the sweetest, most heartfelt thing I have seen in a long time. Please do not be put off by the pace of it or the black and white colour palette, it is well worth your while.

Verdict: A big fat 5/5

Her

Joaquin Phoenix lives in the future and writes letters to people, from other people for a living. Everybody in his time has a computer who runs their life for them (basically Siri but a bit more advanced). The company that makes Siri decides that it needs a mind of its own so develops an AI version that learns over time. Strangely this AI version sounds a lot like Scarlett Johansson and is witty, sexy and all the things a computer generally isn't........well unless you are looking at jokes or porn. Joaquin is a lonely dude who is in the throws of a divorce and starts to really bond with computer Scarlett. Eventually they start to have feelings for one another in a way that should never occur between a human and a machine. Joaquin tells his friends Chris Pratt and Amy Adams and noone, and I mean not a single freakin' person, even bats an eyelid.

This is probably as quirky a concept as you will see in modern cinema, a love story between a man and his computer. It starts off very understated and we see Joaquin going about his day to day business. He is a deeply lonely man and plays it brilliantly, really making you feel for him. When Scarlett enters the picture Joaquin becomes more and more complex and alive as he finally has someone to converse and share his life with. The concept of the AI system learning and adapting to the individual does raise many interesting questions, focusing mainly on the true feelings, particularly love, that would be expressed by human and AI as a result of the evolution of the software. Are these feelings truly real? or are they inevitable as the AI becomes everything Joaquin needs it to be? Unfortunately this film is in two halves with the first half very interesting indeed and the second......well not so much.

The problem starts when they actually fall in love, which is done in the most pretentious of ways, giggling to classical music on the beach at sunset whilst discussing how perfect the moment is.........seriously bugger off with this shit, it's not necessary. I still had faith with the film however, by the way Sara had already started swearing at this point, that is until he tells his fellow humans of his love. How do they react you ask? Well they react by just accepting it with no question whatsoever. I mean seriously I could understand if the AI system had been around for a long time as yes I could see how emotions could develop, but it's completely new! It would be like me confessing to everyone that Sara is not a human but is in fact a toaster, with whom I am very much in love and we plan to marry and have little toaster babies together. If that were true then everyone would think I was completely mental, they wouldn't say 'OK that's cool, wanna go on a double date picnic?' Its a completely bonkers plot point that annoyed the hell out of me. In my opinion it would have been so much better if they had gone with the forbidden, strange love angle.

Ultimately I ended up disliking this film which is a real shame as I started off enjoying it immensely. They could have done better.

Verdict: 2.5/5 (and you only got that because of the start and the performances)

Dallas Buyers Club

Matthew McConaughey is a rootin' tootin' bull riding cowboy in the 80's (I think) who loves nothing more than whisky and unprotected sex with hookers. He starts to feel a bit peeky one day and ends up in hospital with a diagnosis of AIDS. He does not take this well and starts kicking off about not being gay and all of that 80's I'm a real man nonsense. He is given a somewhat guarded prognosis and as a result chucks as much money as he can at finding treatments. Jennifer Garner is his doctor and gets him on AZT which does not do too much. Matthew decides he would rather listen to a doctor who now practices in Mexico due to being struck off instead of Jennifer and actually strikes a bit of luck. He then sets up a business with a cross dressing Jared Leto selling these new treatments to other similarly affected individuals.

Like most people I had heard a lot of very good things about this film. The McConnaisance is very much still upon us and the story being told is as true as they come. I am more than happy to report then that this film hits every nail squarely on the head. The story is a tragic and almost unbelievable one and is told beautifully. Jared Leto is unrecognisable as the cross dressing Rayon and puts in a flawless performance. Jennifer Garner is also at her best in her role and the rest of the support cast even to the smallest part are spot on. With all of that however this is McConaugheys film. He is an absolute powerhouse in the lead role and continues to bash out performance after performance cementing him as my favourite actor of current times. He looks awful as the disease ravaged Ron Woodroof and is as far from the romcom Matthew of the late 90's early 00's as he could possibly be. There are probably many other actors who could have performed this role well but I strongly believe that nobody could have done it like McConaughey and nobody could have pulled you in and made you feel every moment the way that he did. I was sufficiently blown away and he firmly deserved his best actor Oscar. You have to watch this film for so many reasons. Loved it.

Verdict: A most comfortable 5/5

Rush

Chris Hemsworth likes to drive fast cars and sleep with lots and lots, and I mean LOTS, of women. He is pretty good at all these things until Daniel Bruhl rocks up and starts driving better than him, doesn't do the women thing better though. They then start to compete intensely and both end up in the mighty formula 1. They continue to drive around a bit winning things here and there and getting married, not to each other, and one of them possibly could have some kind of very serious accident. I wont say much more other than it is all completely true.

This is the true story of the rivalry between James Hunt and Niki Lauda in formula 1 racing. Now I am a formula 1 fan but alas I was not alive when this occured, 1970s, and am far too lazy to read up on it, my mum assures me it was a very exciting time for racing although she was too young herself at the time to be really hooked. Suffice to say then that I started watching this with an immense amount of good will. Chris Hemsworth is fast becoming a good actor and not just a pretty face and Ron Howard is a very good director (forgetting the Dan Brown adaptations). Chris is indeed very good as James Hunt but it is completely the Daniel Bruhl show who is outstanding as Niki Lauda. You forget very quickly that he is an actor and believe that you are actually watching Niki's younger days, to a certain extent Chris does the same for James Hunt but is outshone somewhat. The story itself is very interesting and I did enjoy finding out what happened between the two of them. The action is shot beautifully with the race sequences making you feel every single apex and hairpin turn.
Unfortunately I do have some, well one reservation. The pace of the first half as it rattles through events was a little too fast for my liking, maybe this was because I did not know the history behind the story but I would have liked a little more explanation. I did however enjoy the film but wasn't blown away by it, shame really. Lastly then I am happy to tell you all that Sara did indeed say yes and we are now happily engaged (I left this bit until the end so that you would actually read the review, sneaky right???)

Verdict: 3.5/5

Godzilla

Brian Cranston is a scientist working for some Japanese people in a nuclear something or other. He has a wife who is also a scientist and a son who isn't. He has these readings of some sciencey stuff and runs around warning his colleagues and wife some bad stuff is coming, everyone ignores him and lo and behold he is right and lots of people die. Time moves on a little and his son is now Aaron Taylor Johnson who is a Navy bomb dude. Brian is still harping on about science and gets arrested leading to Aaron flying to Japan to save him. This goes wrong when Brian is once again right and a big flying moth thing starts killing lots and lots of people. For some reason this then prompts our titular giant lizard to turn up and start killing moths and the general public.

Godzilla films have been around for a very long time and are an institution in and of themselves, some of them classics (the old) some of them not so much (brodericks one). Safe to say then this film had a lot to live up to and thankfully it manages the job pretty well. Brian Cranston is very good as the scientist father and his relationship with his son Aaron is very interesting and a nice backbone to the film. It starts very slowly from the perspective of the monsters and chooses to focus on the characters relationships. For me this was the right choice and if anything I would have preferred a little more of the heart rather than the brawn. Thats not to say I didn't like the fighting giants, I did, I just loved the human side of things and didn't want it to end. Because of this the film felt like two halves, not enough to make me dislike it but it could have done with gelling the two a little bit better. Aaron does a good enough job but is teetering precariously on the edge of wooden, good for him the rest of the cast, including Elizabeth Olsen, put in sterling jobs. Overall I really liked this film and spent the following couple of days roaming round the house making Godzilla noises and kicking things over, Sara was not impressed. One last thing to say really, Sara will you marry me? (I'll let you all know what she said in a following review, fingers crossed eh!)

Verdict: 4.5/5

RIPD

Ryan Reynolds is a cop whose partner is Kevin Bacon. They go on a bust or a raid or some policey thing and Ryan bites it with a shotgun to the chest (not a spoiler, happens pretty much right away). Once dead ryan floats up out his body, or climbs out, I can't remember, and meets the lady who I always think is Marissa Tomei but clearly isn't. Fake Marissa then tells Ryan he has been recruited to police dead people who are still hanging around the real world. His partner is a near incomprehensible Jeff Bridges who is a veteran dead cop with an attitude to boot. They then go about trying to solve a very thin plotline which may or may not involve Kevin Bacon and some deado's (yes thats what they call dead people who cause mischief).

The premise of this film is pretty damn good actually; once dead, cops who have led a sketchy lifestyle are recruited by limbo to control the spirits who are making a complete nuisance of themselves, sounds good right? How can we make this film even more appealing then? Casting you say? O.K. I'll give you Ryan Reynolds who when he puts his mind to it can act, Kevin Bacon who is awesome and Jeff Bridges who steals pretty much every film he is in whether he is the lead or not. Now all we need is a coherent plotline to hold all these things together and we are golden, shame this is where they drop the ball then. It's a very thin plot that doesn't really hold together well at all, not only that the Basil Exposition explanation moments don't actually explain things. Ryan is far too accepting of his fate and drags himself through the film with a visible lack of enthusiasm and energy. Why cast him in the lead and then not have him run his mouth, that's what Ryan does for Christ's sake. Jeff is clearly enjoying himself as is Kevin but neither of them are able to convince you to have as much fun as they are. It isn't to say that the film is terrible beyond words it is just really, really boring. The last thing to say is the obvious comparison with Men In Black, which a sensible film maker may try to steer away from but in this they may as well have had Tommy Lee Jones and Will Smith in the leads and the deado's couldn't look more like some of the aliens Will and Tommy fight. Put some effort in people, films don't make themselves.

Verdict: 2/5 (because that is the most boring of all scores)

Guardians of the Galaxy

Chris Pratt is a space guy who flies around and steals things. He is asked by some other space guy to steal this orby thing from a desert place. Whilst doing so some other space guys turn up and say 'hey that orb belongs to the guy from Pushing Daisies, give it back'. Chris doesn't give it back and instead runs to a planet where Bradley Cooper as a racoon, Vin Diesel as a tree and Zoe Saldana as kermits daughter are all after him, the orb or a combination of the two. They have a noisy fight and get arrested and sent to a nasty prison for nasty people. Here they meet Dave Batista, yeh Dave Batista the wrestler, who is a nutjob prisoner. The five of them decide to break out due to a mutual hatred of Pushing Daisies. They make a brief stop at Benicio Del Toros house, bad idea, before heading out to give lots of aliens a right old slap in the noise maker.

The concept, premise, cast list and source material for this film are all, on paper, asking for a fall. The original comic was a minor cult hit at best, being overshadowed by its older, more successful Marvel siblings. It is odd then that Marvel decided to turn this little known band of misfits into a fully fledged film. The cast list also has its moments of bravery in casting a wrestler with little to no acting pedigree, Dave Batista, and a first time leading man in Chris Pratt. Thankfully it gives me massive pleasure to say that everything works and then some. Chris Pratt is a revelation in the leading role and holds his own brilliantly. He embodies the cocky character of 'Starlord' completely and brings the charm in spades. Cooper and Diesel provide their voice talents and do a great job of making you care about a racoon and a tree and Saldana is as good as ever as the green skinned assassin. The real surprise however is Dave Batista who fits into his role very snuggly. Admittedly his character is meant to be wooden in his delivery but Dave has surprisingly good comic timing and provides some of the films best laughs. This brings me onto the laughs which are plenty and effective. Marvel are known for injecting humour into their films but they also have a real core of seriousness. This film is different and is meant to have a lighter tone to it. This is no bad thing and I had so much fun watching this film unfold. There is a lot to be said for a film just being fun to watch and I for one will be buying this when it comes out on dvd and watching it again and again. I can't finish this review without a small mention for the soundtrack which is just brilliant. I won't mention the songs used as I want them to be a surprise but all of them are classics and are used perfectly. Loved it, loved it, loved it. Well done Marvel.

Verdict: 5/5

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes

Andy Serkis grows a fair bit of body hair and stands in front of a green screen in the middle of a post apocalyptic forest. He has many chimp friends and family who swing and run around after deer and wotnot in order to keep their families alive. During one of these outings some people turn up with guns and cause a bit of surprise to Andy coz he thinks they all carked it years ago due to some flu thing knocking around. One of these people shoots one of Andys chimps and they go completely nuts. This kicks off a war, then friendship, then war, then friendship type thing and lots of humans and chimps die somewhat unnecessarily.

Rise of the Planet of the Apes did a fantastic job of telling the pre-part of the Planet of the Apes story and setting up its own little trilogy that will lead up to the classic tale. This second instalment jumps us ten years on and into a post apocalyptic setting. The chimps are now fully set up in their own little society with Caesar (Andy) at the helm. Just like in the first one the motion capture is spectacular with Serkis showing there is pretty much noone better at it than him, at least whose name we know. The chimps and their relationships are developed well and begin to blur the lines between human and chimpanzee. Once the humans are introduced the lines become even more blurred with some of the humans showing more savagery and primitive behaviour than their counterparts. Gary Oldman is the leader of these humans and whilst he is a bit of a savage and a brute his motives are perfectly understandable given the circumstances. The same can be said for the antagonist on the ape side of the coin with right hand chimp???? Koba. Both of these characters are flawed but are developed enough that you completely understand and sympathise with them. The film flows beautifully with all performances concerned excelling in every area. I loved this film but must admit I have one problem with it, don't worry though it isn't a big one. All it is is the slight over-anthropomorphic treatment of the chimps. I know the point is that they are becoming more human but for me they went a tiny bit too far, only in some areas mind, on the whole it works very well. If the third of these prequels is even half as good as either this or Rise Of it will genuinely be one of the greatest trilogies ever made.

Verdict: 5/5

X men: Days of Future Past

Hugh Jackman is in the future and likes to keep esteemed company in Sir Patrick Stewart and Sir Ian McKellen. In the future there are these robots who like to kill Hughs friends and frankly they are all sick of it. Ellen Page is there also and for some reason is now able to send people back in time by wiggling her fingers a little near their temples. They send Hugh back to the 70's so that he can try to stop the robots from being created by Peter Dinklage. In the 70's he meets younger versions of Pat and Ian in the form of James McAvoy and Michael Fassbender. They're not mates in the 70's because Fassbender is a bit of a fanatical arsehole and McAvoy is a self righteous borderline alcoholic. Hugh has to convince them to help him stop Jennifer Lawrence and subsequently Mr Dinklage. Future and past then flitter away together and everybody seems to forget the basic principles of time travel.

Its no secret that I love my superhero movies and always go into new ones with a heart full of good will. That being said we have to be honest here and say that Xmen films have been very hit and miss with the high point of X2 and the low point of wolverine origins. Even so my eyes were wide and the edge of my seat well and truly planted upon as the film began to start. I will begin by saying that I wasn't disappointed, at all. The acting is top notch and everybody brings their slightly overacting A game. We are flooded with well established and well known characters from across the previous films and treated to some brilliant new ones, in particular Peter Dinklage as the creator of the sentinels and the absolutely brilliant Quicksilver, who by the way could have ended the entire problem on his own in about 5 minutes, just saying. Having the bulk of the film in the 70's worked very well with us learning a little more about the motivations of each of the characters. Admittedly if you have not seen any or all of the previous films you will not have a clue what is going on or frankly who the hell anyone is but if you come into this with no prior knowledge then you don't deserve to know, so shut up and get on netflix or something. My only real problem with the film is my problem with most time travel based films in that it doesn't completely make sense. I won't say why it doesn't make sense (like how is Patrick even alive in the future when Famke Jansen offed him a long time ago) but you will notice a few holes. Despite that minor flaw it is a great addition to the superhero genre.

Verdict: 4/5 

Frozen

There are these two little girls who live in Scandinavia somewhere. One of them likes snow and the other can create it from her hands and make snow mounds and indoor ice skating rinks. Icy girl gets a little enthusiastic and her parents tell her to pack it in and start acting normal for Christ's sake. She listens and stops being friends with the other girl and eventually they grow up and their parents cark it. Icy girl then goes a bit 'white witch from Narnia' when she finds out her sis is a bit impulsive when it comes to love and ends up making the whole world wintertastic. Its then up to non icy girl, a talking snowman, an extremely blonde man and his overly friendly reindeer to save the day and get summer back.

Disney probably have the most extensive back log of films of any major production company, not only that but they very rarely create anything that can be considered poor, well mainstream films anyhow. I am very happy to say that they keep that ball well and truly off the ground with this offering. First and foremost it is stunning to look at with gorgeous animation and a real attention to detail that shines through. The characters are inventive but have a comfortable feeling of familiarity about them. The two sisters who are the focus of the story are cleverly handled and their relationship ebbs and flows throughout the film. It is refreshing also that Disney shy away from, and even poke fun at, their habit of having characters fall in love after 30 seconds of knowing one another and instead choose to base the film on the love between siblings instead. The support characters also hold their own being both funny and entertaining, in particular Olaf the snowman needs special mention as he is brilliant. Choosing to have a snowman who wants nothing more than to bask in the summer sun is simple and genius in equal measure. Last but not least I should mention the soundtrack which true to Disney form is ace and I give it 30 minutes post film before you start telling your family at a very high volume to let it go. Absolutely fantastic.

Verdict: 5/5

American Hustle

Christian Bale has no hair and likes loud clothes. He is married to a less than hinged Jennifer Lawrence and cons people into giving him money and is pretty good at it, that is until Amy Adams turns up and puts on a crappy English accent. Together they take the conning to the next level and attract the attention of Bradley Coopers perm. Bradleys perm convinces them to help him con some more people so that he doesn't arrest them for conning. The person they decide to target is Jeremy Renner who may or may not be the only actual good guy in the entire film. Bradleys perm then shouts and gets overly excited, Amys boobs try their hardest to stay within the napkins she uses for dresses and Christians comb over makes a break for freedom every chance it gets.

David O Russell has a certain flare for style and shows it off in spades in this film. He channels the 70s spectacularly and really draws you into the time with everyone concerned having big, fantastic outfits with big, fantastic hair. The acting is spot on with all parties pulling their weight and chucking all their gusto into the performance. Christian Bale is great as always and Amy Adams shows that she is a top actress. Special mention does have to go to Bradley Cooper who ramps the acting up to insane levels. He is steadily showing that in the right part he can be fantastic and deserves to be a sought after star. Unfortunately whilst the film looks outstanding and is acted to within an inch of its life I felt a little disappointed at the end. I cant even really pinpoint what the problem was, I liked the story which flowed nicely and kept me entertained, I didn't feel bored at any point and actually enjoyed myself. That being said I do feel that the story wasn't the most groundbreaking and felt all too familiar with the who is conning who twists and turns. I did enjoy the film and would encourage people to see it but it isn't going to be making my greatest film list.

Verdict: 4/5

Philomena

Steve Coogan was a politician or journalist or something but took the blame, or was blamed, for some sort of cock up and lost his job. In order to get some credibility and some fame he decides that human interest stories would be super happy fun times and goes to look for Dame Judi Dench. Judi gave birth when she was younger and ended up in a nunnery where they looked after her and her son, fed her, gave her a job, sold her baby, you know good guy stuff. Steve decides it will be his mission to help Judi find said baby that now should be 40ish and begin a journey across America, Ireland, little bit of England, I think thats it, to search for and reunite this son and mother combo.

The events that occur during this film are awful, unbelievable and completely true. It is a story that if I am honest I knew nothing about and could not imagine anything more heartbreaking for a mother. Judi Dench is outstanding as the now elderly mother searching for a child that was stolen from her decades ago. She manages to make you feel for her completely without ever making you pity her. Steve Coogan is equally great in his role as the politician turned human interest writer. Not only does Philomena have a journey to go on but Steve turns from cynical and harsh to a soft squidgy puddle of emotion. I can honestly say the way this story develops is shocking and makes you question the true morality behind the decisions of these nuns and the 'beliefs' that drove them to be such heartless and frankly disgraceful human beings. All credit cannot be given to the actors however as the direction is pretty great aswell. It is handled with delicacy by Stephen Frears but he does not sugar coat at all. It is not without flaws this film as the pace does slow a little at times but to be honest this is me attempting to find fault rather than a problem in and of itself. Loved it.

Verdict: 4.5/5

Saving Mr Banks

Emma Thompson has written a book about a nanny and a barely cockney chimney sweep that Tom Hanks thinks is just swell. Tom wants to make this book into a film with his company, Disney, don't know if you have heard of them, but Emma is a bit of a reluctant cow and likes the word no. Tom is persistent and convinces Emma to allow Paul Giamatti to drive her to meet him and discuss stuff. Emma eventually agrees but continues to be a miserable bastard and puts down everyone she comes across. Can Tom warm Emma's heart and get her to stop whining like a child? Only if he can get to the heart of why she's a bitch, which seems to have something to do with Colin Farrell and Whiskey.

If you hadn't guessed, or didn't know, this film is the story of the making of Mary Poppins. Emma Thompsons character, I forget her real name, genuinely was a bit of a stuck up cud chewer and really did give Walt Disney one hell of a hard time when it came to her precious titular character. I don't think I have ever met, and would want to meet, anyone who does not like Mary Poppins and this film is a brilliant companion piece. Emma Thompson is fantastic as usual and really does her upmost to bring a humanity to her character and story. Tom Hanks is naturally brilliant but he always is so it doesn't really count. The story is funny and heart warming in bucket loads and is just as charming as the original film. Not much more to say really than go and watch it, right now.

Verdict: 5/5

Captain Phillips

Tom Hanks is the captain of our ship, of our ship, and gets himself ready to take this ship through some dangerous waters nearish Africa, or somewhere, never was good at geography. This ship is owned by Maersk who want Tom to transport and deliver some things. Tom is happy with this other than the fact there may be pirates, not the ARRRGGGHH kind but the AK-47 carrying, somalian kind. As per usual Tom is bang on the money and the pesky pirates turn up to capture the ship and toddle off with all the booty. Then starts a game of survival between Tom and the pirates, who will win and come out on top?.........hang on.......is that?........yeh that looks like the entire american Navy, plus their seals.........guess that answers that then.

On paper this film is a cocktail of complete and utter awesomeness. Firstly it is completely true, small artistic license aside, and the awful events portrayed on screen all happened. Secondly it stars Tom 'Turner and Hooch' Hanks who is one of the greatest actors of all time and churns out great performance after great performance. The third and frankly most important is the director, Paul Greengrass, who is a genius and one of the smartest people to ever sit behind the camera. He masterfully creates a film that feels brutally real and crucially on both sides of the hijacking. In a lesser directors hands we would have had a good telling of a terrifying story that focused on what the victims went through, but with Greengrass we get to see the who, what and why behind the young men forced into piracy through desperation and fear. This is fantastically portrayed by main pirate Barkhad Abdi whose desperation oozes from the screen. The skill and genius of Greengrass can be seen in the way he handled the first meeting of the pirates and Hanks crew. He did not let them meet one another beforehand and did not fully script the scene, he allowed the actors to run with it and boy did they. I absolutely loved this and was shocked and I am not afraid to admit I shed more than a tear at the end, not out of sadness but out of compassion for the poor people this happened to. Outstanding.

Verdict: 5/5

Red 2

Bruce Willis is a retired CIA super agent type person. He has retired with a much younger lady and they are living the mundaneness of normal people lives when John Malkovich turns up acting all crazy like. He tells Bruce that there are probably some bad people out to get them all and Bruce doesn't believe him, that is until stuff gets shot and bad people try to get him. Bruce, John and Bruces other half then run around trying to get the people who are trying to get them before they are all got. Not only are there people getting them but there are people who are trying to get Anthony Hopkins and Helen Mirren too. Whats that? It doesn't stop there? No no no, there are also some people, or maybe one person, or two, or some, who are trying to get the Russians??? the world??? I lost interest and subsequently forgot.

The first red film was barely passable, and I mean barely. This then begs the question of why did they bother to make a second and why did the acting powerhouses they have on the cast say yes to the script instead of flushing it. I honestly do not understand why Bruce Willis, John Malkovich, Helen Mirren, Anthony Hopkins, Brian Cox, amongst others, agreed to do this shite. The only thing I can think is either they were offered a lot of money, they had a great time making it, or a mixture of the two. The story is awful and generic, the 'jokes' are tired, old and downright unfunny and the acting........well to be fair thats pretty good but it does not excuse the terribleness of the film. I genuinely do not get why this film exists and am slightly ashamed in the actors who agreed to do it. Utter codshite.

Verdict: 1/5 (and you only got the 1 because I still like you all)

Sanctum

Ioan Gruffudd has loadsa money and decides he wants to spend this money going into some caves and having a swim about. He hires Richard Roxborough (yeah I wasnt sure who he was) and his son, Rhys Wakefield (yeah not sure on him either), who are mega awesome cavey people. They decide to go down this cave that noone has been down before and take along Ioans girlfriend who is nothing short of dead weight. Whilst caving things start to go a bit tits up and most of it is Ioans fault, more money than sense springs to mind. Eventually, and predictably, people start to cark it in increasingly stupid ways until maybe some of them survive, maybe some dont, who cares.

I will start this by saying I just happened to come across this film late one night on film4 or channel 5 or some such and thought it would be a good idea to continue watching it. My first warning sign should have been the hiring of Ioan Gruffudd. Now I am not having a go at the guy, my mum for one was a big fan of his Hornblower days, but he is not the greatest actor in the world. He can only really do one character which is nice guy but bland and in this he cannot break out of that stereotype, the problem being that this is not the character he is being asked to play. He is meant to be a bit of a reckless thrillseeker with a slight dickhead complex and he just keeps reeling back to nice. The rest of the cast are pretty mediocre with noone really showing any acting skills beyond the mundane. The story itself is interesting enough, and apparantly true, and should plod along nicely but it turns out to be boring and extremely predictable, halfway through Sara stood up, told me the order they would die and who would survive and proceeded to go to bed early and annoyingly for me and the I told you so I received, she was bang on. It is standard fare and poorly done standard fare at that. Rubbish.

Verdict: 1/5

12 Years a Slave

Chiwetel Ejiofor is a well respected gentleman in America in 18something or other. He plays the violin and has kids and stuff until he meets a couple of white folk who seem nice at first but then sort of kidnap him and sell him into slavery in the south. His first owner is Benedict Cumberbatch who is also sort of nice until you remember that HE HAS SLAVES! Benedict then needs to sell him for a reason, I forget what, to Michael Fassbender who is not so nice. Michael then continues to paint a wonderful picture of Southern White Americans of that time and Chiwetel tries his darndest to convince people he is himself and not a slave. Can he make it out or does he remain lost in the vile world he finds himself in?

This is not an easy film to watch and does not hollywoodise (probably a word) the subject matter one bit. The story is adapted from a book written by the main character who actually lived the almost unbelievable life portrayed excellently by Chiwetel. Everything that the poor man, and no doubt countless others, had to endure is difficult to watch and is a cruel reminder of how we as a species can treat one another. The standard of acting is amazing with all parties knocking it out of the park. Particular attention should be focused on Fassbender who plays a completely unhinged bastard and is one of the vilest people you could imagine. Unfortunately for me this is not the perfect film most people and critics have said it is. One part of this may be the Oscar hype with the aforementioned critics universally agreeing that this is THE film of the year. I cant lie and say that it thrilled me all the way through and found myself verging on bored, all be it for not very long, in the middle of the film. It may be the relentless misery that causes this lull in interest but I cant help feeling there is a little flaw in the flow of the story. Do not get me wrong I liked this film very much but I have seen pretty much all of the other nominees for best film and I have to be honest and say that, purely as films, I liked them more. That being said it has been a particularly stellar year for films and I may not have said this a year ago or even Oscar time next year. Very good film and well worth your time.

Verdict: 4/5

The Amazing Spiderman 2

Andrew Garfield dons the symbol of the spider to continue his exploits in the great city of New York. He swings, runs, jumps and quips his way around vanquishing foes left, right and bloody centre. Jamie Foxx sees all this and is Andrews biggest fan. He works for Dane DeHaan as an electrician and noone really likes him at work, that is until he falls into a big tub of water full of electric eels. This turns him into Electro and suddenly people start to like and/or fear him, same dif right? For some reason he becomes angry with Andrew and decides to electrocute him and a variety of other New Yorkians. Emma Stone is still around and occasionally gets herself into a bit of bother, just enough to give Andrew more things to do. Can he swing and save the day or will he get squashed like a.....*wink wink*.......spider.

The first Amazing Spiderman was deemed to be a little bit pointless when it hit our screens a couple of years back as the Tobey Maguire trilogy was still reasonably fresh. I for one thought that they managed to do a pretty good job. Garfield is arguably a better Peter Parker than Maguire (not hard as Tobey struggles with the acting bless him) and the story was much more in tune with the original comics. Because number one did such a solid job at resetting the Spiderman universe, number 2 was given the freedom to go for it a little and have a little fun expanding the universe. Thankfully they manage to do this and make a fantastic film in the process. The main bad guy Electro was never one of my favourites as a geeky kid but is played brilliantly by Jamie Foxx who brings real heart to a very well rounded villain. When it was announced that Harry Osborn would also be in this film there was a big worry that it would feel too busy, much as Spiderman 3 did. The film makers here did not, thank god, fall into this trap instead choosing to focus primarily on Jamies story and use the other potential bad guys as set ups for more films to come. As ever Garfield is great and so is Emma as the love interest with a real palpable chemistry between the two, which is probably because they are canoodling in real life but there you go. As a Spiderman fan I feel very precious about the character and must say these two films are as close to the original character as you can get and the tone of the story also echoes this. For all his powers and abilities Peter has a very miserable life and the director does not shy away from this fact. All that is left to say is I loved this and it is very close to, and to be honest probably just about takes, the title of best marvel film ever made. Brilliant.

Verdict: 5/5

The Wolf of Wall Street

Leonardo Di Caprio is broke as hell and needs a job to fund his new marriage, yay for him. He gets a job on wall street working for Matthew McConaughey as a stock broker. Matthew opens Leos eyes to a world of depravity which Leo adopts as his own and embarks on a crazy ride consisting of drugs, alcohol, money and more drugs. He starts his own stoke broker firm and makes a bucket load of money that attracts none other than Donna from neighbours?!? and Jonah Hill. He then spends three hours, roughly, completely coked up to the eyeballs, sleeping with whomever he comes across and generally breaking many, many laws.

This film is completely knackering from start to drug addled finish. It begins at a relatively normal pace but within 5 minutes it slams the accelerator to the floor and seemingly ignores the fact a brake pedal even exists. Believe me however when I say that this is as far from a bad film as you could possibly get. Leo is brilliant in the lead role and is by far one of todays greatest actors and he has also managed to find himself backed up by an outstanding support cast. Jonah Hill continues to prove that he actually can act beyond being the slightly large, slightly rude pothead of his early films; Matthew McConaughey is electric in his albeit short screen time and Margot Robbie (Donna from neighbours) is outstanding and off the back of this deserves to be cast again and again. When I said this film is tiring I meant for the audience also. At the end I felt physically exhausted and this was amplified due to the fact it is a true story. This guy actually existed and actually did everything in the film, wow. I loved the film and it was possibly one of the most unique and greatest films I have ever seen.

P.S. I also want to run like lions, tigers and bears.

Verdict: 5/5

Captain America The Winter Soldier

Chris Evans is a very old guy with a big shield and a patriotism problem. He can run real fast, hit things really hard and fill everybody with a sense of true americaness. Samuel L Jackson has lost his eye again and tells chris where to run, who to hit, etc, whilst having political dealings with none other than Robert Redford. Things are running smooth enough until some pesky people start shooting at Samuel and generally making trouble wherever they see fit. Robert and Sam have a proper chinwag and decide the best course of action is to put Chris and Scarlett Johansen on charge overnight and point them in the direction of people who need a good hiding. Then some more political dealings occur and twists spring up all over the bleeding place.

Many people, such as my friend Will, did not like the first Captain America film stating that it was, and I quote, 'the worst superhero film ever made'. I must say I did not hold this view and if anything quite liked the first one, yes it was a little different than other Marvel films we had seen but I for one liked the army, world war aspect to it. This time round another friend of mine, Danny, claimed that The Winter Soldier was the best Marvel film he had seen. Polarising views somewhat and unfortunately another one I do not wholly agree with, however it is definitely up there with the best. The directors have decided to scale the story down from the fantastical Avengers Assemble and root it firmly in the real world. It focuses heavily on political issues that feel modern and nostalgic all at the same time. Chris Evans is very good as the Captain and gets to flex his character development muscles creating a nice insight into Steve Rogers thoughts and morality. The support cast are also great with particular props given to Robert Redford who pulls in a cracking performance. One of the only flaws I would argue is the titular character of the winter soldier in that he is slightly underused. Admittedly I already knew the twist associated with him so maybe that coloured my view a bit but he is a great character who spends the majority of the film running and hitting things. I would have just liked a little more development from him but this is a small criticism as they do explore his story quite a bit so maybe I am being a little greedy. Overall this is a great film and deserves the high praise it has been given. Marvel continue to impress with their myriad of very good films, the big question is can they continue at this blistering pace.

Verdict: 4/5

Prisoners

Hugh Jackman is an average joe with a wife and kids and stuff. He is mates with Terence Howard whose genitals also work pretty well. They have thanksgiving together and drink and have all sorts of fun until their two little girls go missing. They phone the rozzers who put Jake Gyllenhaal on the case and he starts running around blinking and getting frustrated at Hugh in particular. Thus begins a mystery search for the naughty bastard/bastardette who napped the kids.

On paper this reads as a solid, dependable and enjoyable who dunnit thriller that doesn't really threaten either extreme of the critical spectrum. This then puts the onus on the cast to elevate the film above the mundane, good thing Jake and Hugh were free then. Jake Gyllenhaal continues to make himself comfortable on my favourite actors list and pulls off a great performance as a slightly overworked, unhinged cop. Hugh also puts in a very good performance and keeps reminding us that he is a very competent actor. Thankfully the quality doesn't stop with the support cast, namely Paul Dano as the suspect with let's just say learning difficulties. Moving on from the cast the film touches on morality and how this can bend and break under extreme pressures. This adds something a little extra to the bog standard crime thriller format and pulls it off very well. Unfortunately the film is not without flaws but they are few in number. There are a handful of small holes through which the plot occasionally falls and it doesn't go completely unnoticed and does throw the tension off every now and again. The other big flaw is the big reveal when you find out who has taken the girls and it's a shame that when you find out you have already pretty much worked it out. That being said the film keeps the tension and frankly hard to watch scenes ramped up enough that in the end I forgave it. Great stuff.

Verdict: 4/5

Zero Dark Thirty

Jessica Chastain works for the CIA. She travels to Pakistan to meet up with a guy who has a receding hairline and a love of torture in order to try and track down that elusive little rascal Osama Bin Laden. She gets all intense and involved and lots more torture happens. We then get to go on a massive hide and seek mission with Jessica and her pals to find out if they can or cannot track down the big OBL. Is he in this mountain cave?? No, not there. Is he hiding in this city?? No, not there either. O wait, is he in that big complex which was all over the news a few years back when they found Osama Bin Laden and shot him? Probably.

This is the true story of the hunt and subsequent shooting of Mr Bin Laden and is surprisingly restrained and open about how everything was done. Most notably right from the off we are shown torture sequences and the film does not shy away from the fact this went on, allegedly, and may or may not have been lied about by the powers that be, wink wink Mr Obama. It is a bold portrayal of events and director Kathryn Bigalow channels her previous work, The Hurt Locker, to bring a gritty tense drama to the screen. Jessica Chastain and her support are fantastic and bring a real human element to the film questioning morality at every turn. The real testament to the film is the fact that despite knowing the outcome and final set piece you are still on the edge of your seat. I loved it more than I thought I would and more than most films I have seen in recent months. Cracking stuff

Verdict: 5/5

Monsters University

Billy Crystal is a big green ball with legs who wants more than anything to scare the cockles off children and earn the big bucks doing it. To get there he first has to geek it up at a university full of, you guessed it Sherlock, monsters one of whom is a big furry John Goodman. The school is all about the scaring and the dean is the scariest of them all, Helen 'I am the god-damn queen' Mirren. Everyone thinks Billy is wasting his time as we all know green balls are not scary, just look at the poddington peas, but he is determined to show us all by winning some scaring competition thingy. Can he do it? Who knows but maybe we will laugh anyway.

I loved Monsters Inc as I am sure most of us sane people did. It was witty, charming and full to the brim of heart, the reason for this? one word, Pixar. You all know I am a little in love with Pixar as a film studio and thank Christ this film does not darken the name. The characters of Mike and Sully are still charming and voiced perfectly by Billy and John. The character and world design is beautiful and inventive and the predictable monsters in uni jokes still make you laugh like a 9 year old. All that being said it is not a perfect film and doesn't quite make it to the top of the Pixar pedestal, not even close actually. It fails in a few areas in which the first film excelled, the most important of which is the heart. You don't fall in love with the characters the way you did in Inc and unfortunately it did not warm the blood in my cold, black heart. It's a bit of a shame really as you are just left with a feeling of disappointment, albeit a minor one. I would recommend this to anyone but would urge people to make their way through the Pixar back catalogue to see what true movie genius is.

Verdict: 3.5/5

Film review: The Wolverine

Hugh Jackman puts down his song sheet and picks up his CGI claws so that he can get all slashy again. This time he heads off to japan to meet some old war guy he used to know who is getting on a bit now and wants to say goodbye, awww ain't it sweet. Once over in Japan Hugh meets lots of Japanese people who love a bit of sword play and an American lady who likes spitting on things. Once the storyline is set up Hugh unsheaths, his claws you dirty minded people, and really starts to tear japan a new one.

We all know the x-men franchise has had its ups (1, 2 and first class) and it's downs (3 and origins) so expectations were almost non existent for this new adventure and anything could have happened. This new story from the universe brings us our favourite cigar smoking anti hero in a completely new environment facing completely, almost, new kinds of enemies. There are not many mutated super beings knocking around and for me this is a bad thing considering we are watching film primarily about a mutant. It is not to say I don't like samurais and the ilk, on the contrary actually seeing as I won a lot of martial arts films, but it just didn't fit for me. I don't see the point of having what seems like a samurai film and then plonking wolverine in the middle of it, he just felt out of place, and yes I know this happened in the comics but it doesn't mean we need to put it on screen. Then there's the love interest which is verging on creepy old man issues and doesn't really work. It isn't a terrible film by any stretch and is better than the first wolverine film in both storyline and acting but it just felt a little off. Maybe I am being picky but can we stop with the solo wolverine efforts now and stick with the superior, in my opinion, first class series of films.

Verdict: 2.5/5

Gravity

Sandra Bullock decides to try her hand and astronauting, real word??? Who cares. She is being shown the ropes by old hat George Clooney. While up there they are fixing something or other on the Hubble telescope. They get in to a bit of bother when something the Russians did, bloody Russians, starts slamming into their ship and breaking lots of things. Sandra then floats about a bit whilst George plays with a gas based propulsion system and the third guy does not get a lot of screen time. They then have limited time to get away from the Russian cock up before they all cark it.

I saw this film in 3d, on purpose and everything, and I can honestly say you have to see it in 3d. Coming from me this is a big deal as on the whole I hate 3d and feel that it is completely pointless and a way to squeeze a little more money out of us all. In this they have used it perfectly and immerse you in the screen without overwhelming you with crap sticking into your face every 5 seconds. Gravity is probably the most beautiful film I have ever seen from a visual point of view. The special effects are nothing short of stunning from the opening shot all the way through to the end of the film. It manages to make you feel both the expanse of space and claustrophobic in equal measure but doesn't shove it down your throat. In my view the key to a great visual experience is you forget that you are in a cinema and start to believe you are in the film with the characters. This moves me on to the characters and the actors who play them. The characters are nothing groundbreaking with a typical rookie - veteran relationship but they are played excellently by both Bullock and Clooney, in particular Bullock who is just fantastic and I may love her a little. Yes it is a little cheesy but I completely forgive it and don't care at all. It is one of the greatest films I have seen in a long time and by far the most good looking.

Verdict: 5/5