Ben Stiller, Chris Rock, Jada Pinkett Smith and David Schwimmer are a little tired of living it up on the African plains. They start moaning that four penguins didn't bother coming back and flying them to New York so they take it upon themselves to make their own way back. The most sensible route they can think of is to swim to france and then try to find the penguins there who are scamming people alongside some monkeys. Some french woman then starts hunting them and chases them onto a circus train. They then all join the circus and learn lessons about their lives and that the circus is much better for animals than both the zoo, where husbandry, breeding programs and the like are making zoos the best they have been in history; and the wild, where the animals are meant to be and where they had decided in the last film was the place for them.
How in the hell did they manage to squeeze three stories out of these characters? No really I want to know. The first of these films was passable and had a few laughs in it, King Julian for example I found rather funny in the first film. The second again was passable, admittedly by the hair on its chinny chin chin, and also had a minor amount of sense to it with the animals returning to their natural habitat. Why, oh why did they then bother to make this mess? The story makes no sense whatsoever, the jokes are nonexistent and the characters whom I used to find funny I now want to skin and wear as shoes. For an example of making no sense why when they find it so easy to swim to France from Africa did they not just swim to the States and before you all say America is much further from Africa than France I will ask you to recall the last time David Attenborough showed us footage of a giraffe, lion, zebra and hippo swimming across any major body of water. The rest of the film and plot follows this inane loose weave of nonsense. I really wanted to turn this shite off but I have never turned a film off and will not let this rubbish defeat me.
Verdict: 1/5
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