Keira Knightley puts on yet another period costume to become a Russian housewife. Her husband is Jude Law who is a wonderful human being whom every bugger loves and dotes upon. Whilst visiting her brother, I think, she spies out of her little vodka filled eye a young whippersnapper who should be dating her cousin???friend???? I dunno. Then there is a slight Russian reference to remind us we are in Russia and not England. She then becomes a naughty girl and decides the borderline child is worth a rumble in the jungle. Jude figures it all out, to be honest Keira doesn't make a good job of hiding it, and gives her a right tongue lashing. Another Russian reference. Someone gets her preggers and she turns into a right moody bitch who mouths off at everyone and their mother, O yeh and we are still in Russia, not that you would know.
*Sigh*. I kind of want to end it there to be honest but here goes. I really dislike Keira Knightley and find the majority of her films tedious. Its not to say she is a bad actress but she literally has one character that she copies and pastes into all of her films and then adjusts the volume/overacting dial accordingly. Whether she is a queen, footballer or even bounty hunter she remains the posh public schoolgirl throughout. Jude Law is pretty good and the only person in the entire film who looks remotely Russian and thats only because they stuck a Leninlike beard on his face but he is not enough to save it. The young bloke spends 75% of the film looking creepily at Keira from a distance and the other 25% stalking. All the other characters are fine but they don't ever really feel the need to explain who they are or how they know Keira and Jude or why they are even in the film. Then there is the most annoying part of the film which is the stage play mechanic they add to the filming and cutting between shots. It is so out of place both me and Sara weren't 100% sure they didn't actually live in a theatre. Some of the cuts even had people moving scenery, which I found to be beyond annoying, and there are moments when people synchronise typing, moving and other actions in a sub dance routine. I half expected them to break into song. Then they expect us to buy into the serious undertones of the relationships between Keira and her two men, it just doesn't work. Whichever bright spark thought this would work needs to be punched in the crotch, even if they're a woman, or a eunuch. Awful, just awful, and misguided.
Verdict: 0/5
No comments:
Post a Comment