Maleficent

Baby Angelina Jolie has wings and lives in the forest with fairies, trees and other creatures. She meets tiny District 9 guy who is stealing stuff from the tree people and instead of beating him to death she decides to befriend him. This friendship continues until Angelina becomes old and anorexic and District 9 becomes Irish or Scottish or south African, I'm not entirely sure. District 9 all of a sudden thinks its a good idea to piss Angelina off, I mean seriously D9 she does magic and casts spells and you can barely do accents, idiot. Then starts a slightly different version of sleeping beauty which contains Dakota Fannings infinitely irritating sister as the beauty in question.

Sleeping beauty was never one of my favourite Disney films and to be brutally honest it resides pretty firmly in the bottom slot. I never got on board with the princess section of the Disney universe so this updated version didn't exactly begin on the best footing for me. I did try to watch without any prior prejudice but unfortunately the film is awful. The story is fine but doesn't really make much sense overall. The premise is that the original sleeping beauty was propaganda against Maleficent and in reality she was a nice person. Mmmmm well she's not exactly nice, admittedly judging by this new story she is perfectly justified in what she does but she isn't nice. Jolie does a very good job in the lead role and seems to be enjoying herself immensely but her support cast cannot live up to her standards. District 9 guys acting is fine but the accent thing is way too distracting for him to have a coherent performance. Fannings little sister overacts to within an inch of her life and is so sickly sweet you would seriously consider slapping her until she hates the world. On top of all this the film is a little bit boring and I did not enjoy myself.

Verdict: 1/5